JOHN SCHILLING'S 21 OUTLANDISH APPS

1. MacBarfX 1.1 - rude noises

Requirements: Mac OS 10.3 or later

"MacBarfX is a port of a very, very old System 7 extension for the Macintosh, called MacBarf (sometimes called MacPuke). It was one of my favorite useless apps for the Classic Mac OS. When running, your Macintosh will emit a barfing sound any time a disk is ejected. This isn't a Haxie. The APIs for notification of an ejected disk are published by Apple. This app will do no harm to your system."

"Simply double click the MacBarfX icon. It's a faceless background app, so it will look as if nothing has happened. Now mount and then eject a disk. If you wish to quit MacBarfX, simply open up a Terminal window and type: killall QUIT "MacBarf"

DOWNLOAD MACBARFX 1.1

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2. The Lonesome Electric Chicken 3.1 - philosophical fowl

Requirements: Mac OS 10.4 or later "and an open mind"

"The Lonesome Electric Chicken is a time and life wasting application that spews forth a gathering of quotations. That's it. Don't look any farther into it than that."

"Currently there are only about 70 quotes in the chicken pile. These are quotations that appeal to me personally, and may not jive with your own individual tastes. Some folks may enjoy them, others will most assuredly not. The Lonesome Electric Chicken is not intended to be a spiritually or morally uplifting application, although you may find it to be so anyway."

"Why is The Lonesome Electric Chicken? Because I have no girlfriend, obviously. And after writing this app, it is highly unlikely that I ever will."

"Quoth the Chicken? Nevermore."

DOWNLOAD THE LONESOME ELECTRIC CHICKEN 3.1

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3. Poop Alerts 2.2 - network-based canine scatology

Requirements: Mac OS 10.3 or later

"Poop Alerts is client/server application set that pops up Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on a remote computer, and then poops on it. The client (Poop Alert Client, the app with the gray icon) runs hidden in the background of any Macintosh unfortunate enough to be installed on. The admin app (Poop Alert Admin) then connects to this client over the network, and poops on it."

For information on how to use Poop Alerts, check out - of all things! - How do I use Poop Alerts?

DOWNLOAD POOP ALERTS 2.2

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4. PowerOrgasm X 1.3 - climactic laptop utility

Requirements: Mac OS 10.2 or later

"PowerOrgasm X is a port of an old System 7 extension for the Macintosh, called PowerOrgasm. When running, your Macintosh laptop will have an orgasm (Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally) any time the power cord is plugged in."

"First, this app only works with laptop Macs, like the PowerBook and iBook. Don't even bother with it if you don't have a Mac with a battery. Now, to use it, simply double click the PowerOrgasm icon. It's a faceless background app, so it will look as if nothing has happened. If your laptop is currently plugged into the power supply, unplug it so it's running on battery power. Now plug the power cord back in. Viola! To quit PowerOrgasm X, simply open up the Terminal application and type in: killall QUIT "PowerOrgasm" If that doesn't work, simply choose "Log Out" from the Apple menu, then log back in. You can also kill it using the Activity Monitor application found in /Applications/Utilities."

DOWNLOAD POWERORGASM X 1.3

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