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10 Reasons for Apple to Stay Small
Posted 09/16/2008 at 11:57:30am | by
Michael Simon
From its humble, wooden beginnings to today’s chrome-and-aluminum-wrapped beauties, Apple has solidified its place as the most unique company in Silicon Valley, creating a niche that even Michael Dell can’t ignore. Playing the perfect dark horse, Apple won the hearts of a nation of computer users who beat a different drum and weren’t afraid to spend a few extra bucks on a product worth its weight in blue screens and frozen cursors.
But since the iPod took the world by storm seven years ago, Apple’s family has grown exponentially, from less than 3 percent of the computing world in 2005 to nearly 8 percent at last count. Of course, with all those smug, glowing Apples come millions of card-carrying Mac users, making for more than a few crowded passenger cars behind the Little Engine That Could.
And while we applaud Apple’s success, we can’t help feeling a little claustrophobic with all these newbies around. We don’t want to come off as selfish, but there’s something to be said about being small, close-knit and exclusive, and, frankly, we had grown rather accustomed to the stares and double-takes whenever we pulled an Apple notebook out of our bag.
So, if any of Apple’s decision-makers are reading this, perhaps you might want to consider a strategic shift back to the days of yore, when the Apple was still upside-down and only the in crowd knew how to pronounce OS X. Why? Well, we're glad you asked:
The Awwwww Factor
From Beeny Babies to LOLcats, our culture has a fascination with all things small. Non-threatening, cuddly, and easy to clean up after, small is the new big, whether we're talking cars, iPods, or burgers (but not TVs or... you know), and Apple is in danger of getting a little too big to run with the small crowd. And we all know what happens then — after all the money, fame, attention and success has worn off, of course — um... well... it’s not good, that’s for sure.
Single-Serving Friends
Tyler Durden may have been referring to the people he met on airplanes, but the phrase is perfectly applicable here, too. Disposable, cheap, replaceable, and forgettable, Apple’s iPod Halo effect has sucked in quite a number of fair-weather fans, who only started paying attention after Intel and the iPhone, like so many Celtics and Giants fans. C’mon now, which would you rather have: a small band of devoted users with a $23 stock price and 3-4 months of Mac channel inventory? Or millions of casual ones who don’t even know the original codename for the blue-and-white G3 Power Mac? The choice is obvious, doncha think?
Tick... Tick... Sick
One of the oldest arguments between Windows and OS X users is whether or not the Apple Desktop is as impervious to viruses as Mac fans think. The general consensus among critics is that hackers aren’t going to waste their time on an OS used by such a small segment of the population, and if Apple’s keeps growing, that theory is going to finally get tested. And what if it’s true? What if OS X really is as unstable as Windows and its Service Packs, and the floodgates are thrust opened once Apple’s market share passes, oh, say, some magical threshold, like 10.6 or 12.3 percent? I mean, surely it’s possible that a legion of hackers are sitting at their keyboards right now, just waiting for exactly the right moment to press the Big Red Button? And each Mac sold brings us that much closer to Doomsday.
Smarter Than the Average Bear
Like the classic children’s story, Apple’s particular brand of porridge, chair and bed have always been “just right,” the perfect blend of form, function and comfort. For decades, Mac faithful have passed up competing computers as too “hot,” “hard,” “soft” or “cold,” but a few million unwanted houseguests might make things a little too “crowded” in Casa Manzana. But we’re quite sure they’ll be plenty of room up the block at the Dell House. (And we hear the cover charge is a bit cheaper, too.)
Don’t Trust Anyone Over 32
Through grunge, leg warmers, mohawks, denim jackets, giga pets, Atkins, and Windows 95, Apple has endured and somehow managed to stay hip. Whether you're using a new iMac or a 10-year-old Wall Street PowerBook, Apple’s attention to detail and sleek, crisp designs have always made its users seem just a little cooler than their Windows counterparts. But as Syndrome says in "The Incredibles": When everyone’s cool, no one will be.
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Nice, sort of thing that'll
Submitted by Nini on Tue, 2008-09-16 12:36
Nice, sort of thing that'll get all the other guys riled up again but I do miss the Apple of yesteryear a great deal. Sure, it'll never get smaller again and I think they're just too big right now but I want to be the smug Mac loving nerd again!
Was my thing, yknow.
heheh i remember those days
Submitted by John Pitko on Tue, 2008-09-16 15:30
heheh i remember those days :) with my performa and Oregon Trail
Apple Hate
Submitted by Emmett The Crab on Tue, 2008-09-16 20:15
Back then people hated Apple because it was the expensive platform that nobody uses, and they will be going out of business soon. Now they hate Apple because they perceive the company as a hollow shell with a lot of market savvy and no substance.
The people who bought the crappy Dells have to justify their purchase somehow.
Submitted by matt09611 on Tue, 2008-09-16 20:48
Don't be dissin on my Giants Simon..
The more, the merrier!
Submitted by Michael Simon on Tue, 2008-09-16 22:43
Nothing personal, of course. But I didn't want to use two New England teams...
I Hate Unchecked Growth...
Submitted by OldRogue on Mon, 2008-09-22 21:15
But it's the one thing that Adam Smith and Karl Marx agreed on, Capitalism must grow or die. The real problems have come with Apple's sudden growth, like when it was all hands on deck for the push to the iPhone launch, leaving Leopard to languish.
I also don't care much for the "switchers". They seem to complain a lot without looking at their manuals, the OSX Help system, or by looking online. I have also noticed a rise in mean-spiritedness on many of the Mac forums, since we got this load of switchers.
And Michael, you should have gone ahead and used the Patriots as your example. People did jump on that bandwagon, just as they are now jumping back off.
Submitted by berniegreen on Mon, 2008-09-22 22:13
Of course the article is a piece of fun and we all know that growth is really irreversible. But there is a really serious issue underneath. You all remember the days when everybody went around saying "Think Global, Act Local"? Now we need a new slogan specially for Apple - "Be Huge, Act Small". And in the old days there were people on Apple's payroll called "Evangelists". Maybe this job should be resurrected but switched around so that now they "evangelise" Apple management with the beliefs of us the true believers.
Submitted by Scion of Tytehran on Tue, 2008-09-23 21:30
Personally, I loved the days of a smaller Apple but growth, it seems, was inevitable. My top reason for liking it small was simply that we had nearly zero threats from malicious nerds bent on the tedious harassment of the computing world. Have not you better things to do with your time than to be anti-social? The answer, it seems, is obvious.
My next to the top reason for liking it small concerns my methodology for converting the unwashed, Windoze masses. Slowly but with precious time and care I have been quietly converting my friends and family to the rewards and glory of all things Apple. To be certain I evangelize the safety and security we enjoy but, it is the sheer intuitiveness of OS X which has been my primary weapon of conversion choice.
"Don't you want to be able to just sit down at your computer and have things work without being vexed by the vagaries of Windoze?" To date, all people I consider important to my life have embraced a new iLife and would rather have an eye gouged out with a spoon rather than return to the Evil Empire @ Redmond!
Submitted by jayratch on Thu, 2008-09-25 01:02
One of my reasons for switching was how stuff "just worked." But one of the reasons for that is simplicity; fewer drivers, less hardware variations, less code bloat. Its less like that than it used to be, and my Macbook is less quick than when I bought it, despite few upgrades.
I'd like so see a return to nimble, tightly written software like what made the early Macintosh able to do so much more than its competitors, often with lesser specs and smaller files.
And yeah, I guess it'd be nice if the company and user base stayed small for a few reasons- but I can't say I'd mind if my family/friends listened to me on the first bit of computer advice they asked me, instead of the dozens of frustrating Windows issues they later call me about.
There are now only two answers in my free tech support repository... "Buy a Mac" to the "help me pick out a computer" category of questions, and "I told you to buy a mac, why are you asking me more questions" for all others.
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