To say Steve Jobs is a tough act for Apple COO Tim Cook to follow is a bit of an understatement. With rock-star mystique, legions of adoring fans and a near-perfect track record, Steve's larger-than-life image is enough to make Tim stay locked in his corner office for the next six months.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. With a few of the right moves and shakes, Tim can emerge from relative obscurity and make a smooth transition from the shadows to the spotlight, and look good doing it, too:
Lock down the threads
Sometimes it seems like Steve Jobs was born wearing a mock turtleneck and jeans, but it actually took several decades for him to craft his simple, yet sophisticated style. Tim Cook, unfortunately, doesn’t have the luxury of time, but that doesn’t mean he can’t craft his own signature wardrobe. We’re got a few suggestions: Bizarro Steve (denim jacket and black, silk pants). Or dark shades, ripped jeans and a red leather jacket. But no vests, please. Even Steve couldn’t pull that one off.
It's On!
Nas and Jay-Z. Biggie and 2Pac. Heather Locklear and Denise Richards. Up-and-coming stars and down-and-out rappers will agree, the quickest way to pick up some serious street cred is to pick a fight with someone bigger than you. Enter Steve Ballmer. There’s lots to choose from--Zune, Vista, Explorer--but we think this might be a good starting point.
Apple picking
While Steve has been married since 1991, Tim Cook may just have become Cupertino’s most eligible bachelor. While he should probably stay away from the Anne Hathaways and Julianne Houghs of Sunset Strip (he’s pushing 50, after all), there’s nothing wrong with snuggling up to “Weeds” mom Mary-Louise Parker or Gilmore Girl Lauren Graham. Or, recently single, 30-something Drew Barrymore--is there any better way to get back at Justin Long than dating the greatest Mac of them all?
Who is that masked man?
Comic book adaptations are all the rage right now, and nothing’s cooler than the mild-mannered interim CEO that turns into a crime-fighting juggernaut after business hours. We’re not too sure what Cookman’s super powers would be, but we know Jonathan Ive would design an awesome costume and kick-ass utility belt.
will.power
From the Black Eyed Peas to i.am clothing, CNN holograms and guest spots galore, will.i.am, much like Apple, has somehow managed to keep his underground appeal while still embracing mainstream success. Not only will a verse or two on a will.i.am track sharpen his rhyming skills and boost his coolness factor tenfold, it’ll give him some extra clout when he has to negotiate all those iTunes Plus record contracts.
Anyone can Cook!
We’re not saying Steve needed Fake Steve Jobs (aka Dan Lyons of Newsweek) to boost his celebrity status, but it certainly didn’t hurt. Since we’ll only actually see Tim once or twice over the next six months, an FTC (Fake Tim Cook) Web presence will fill in the gaps nicely. Cook’s mystery factor is already through the roof, so a high-profile sham blog is just what he needs to go from question mark to instant sensation.
E-Street Shuffle
Steve’s cornered the market on Bono and John Mayer, but as far as we can tell, Bruce Springsteen’s still up for grabs. We know what you’re thinking, but after booking a spot at the Super Bowl halftime show, selling his soul to Walmart and rubbing elbows with Hollywood elite at the Golden Globes, we’re think Bruce is ripe for the picking. What better way to show the world who’s boss than cozying up to the original Boss?
Ain’t iLife grand?
We know money can’t buy happiness. Or love. But it sure can buy a whole bunch of cool. What better way to get on our good side than by giving away 1,000 free iPod shuffles instead of T-shirts at Apple Store grand openings? It’ll ensure a return to grand-opening mob scenes of yore, and immediately put Cook on the map. And how many CEOs can say they made 1,000 new fans in a few hours?
What’s Cooking?
While insiders are constantly breaking Apple’s vow of silence on future releases (in fact, it’s hard to remember a product that we didn’t know about), it’s difficult to sort through all those fake tips and manufactured spy shots to find the few kernels of truth. We’re not asking Tim to tell us everything, but maybe he can lift the black curtain just a little, with a riddle or National Treasure-style set of clues on Apple.com. (And if he wants to start sending us top-secret info, we’re cool with that, too.)
Brand recognition
We all want one, and we all know it’s coming. And whether Apple’s inevitable netbook is unveiled by Phil Schiller, Bertrand Serlet or Tim himself, it’ll be the talk of the town. So what better way to get his name in the headlines than by naming it after himself? “We already have the MacBook, MacBook Pro and MacBook Air. Today, we’re releasing a new generation of Apple notebooks. And we’re calling it MacCook.” Sure, it’s egotistic, but don’t we expect that from Apple’s CEOs?
