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25 Items the iPhone Has Rendered Useless
Posted 10/09/2009 at 6:00:08pm | by Michael Simon





We had no doubt iPhone would be the best smartphone we ever used, but we never could have imagined just how many ways it would take over our lives. From tools we’ll never need again to places we won’t be going back to, iPhone’s versatility never ceases to amaze us--and we’re not just talking about pocket fishermen, paperbacks and newspapers. Want to avoid sleeping on the couch after a fight with your better half? There’s an app for that.





The day the music died

When we got our first iPhone, we had an inkling it would be the last cellphone we’d ever buy, but we never thought it would be the last iPod, too. But iPhone is so good at being "a widescreen iPod with touch controls," we can’t find a reason to drop any more money on another music player, even if it might offer higher capacity or an extra bell or whistle. And based on last quarter’s sales figures, we’re not alone.





It blinded us with science

It might not have the TI-83 geek chic, but we sure wish we had iPhone’s handy horizontal scientific calculator for our sine, cosine and tangent needs back in high school trig class: It fits in our pocket and doesn’t need solar power. Oh and if the bundled Calculator app isn't enough for you, there are ton of calculator apps in the App Store.





The trouble with scribbles

As diligent cub reporters, we were taught to never leave home without our trusty pocket notepads, but now that iPhone has Voice Memos to go along with its landscape Notes app, we’re not sure if we’ll ever feel the same way about lined paper again. And pens. Who ever heard of a digital ink leak ruining their brand new jeans?






Lost and found

Thanks to Google and Apple, we’ll never have to struggle to fold another oversized map of Oregon or pull over at a San Leandro gas station after getting lost for 45 minutes on the way to Lake Chabot while your wife repeatedly asks you why you’re always too macho to ask for directions and gives you the silent treatment for the rest of the ride and makes you sleep on the couch once you finally get to your hotel room.





Generating buzz

The clock radio certainly had plenty of competition before iPhone came around, but there aren’t too many that offer a snooze button and the mellifluous Marimba melody. Besides, iPhone is officially the first alarm clock we actually enjoy setting.





Oh, say can you see?

How many times have you fumbled around in the dark for those accursed D batteries that only fit in flashlights and Go-bot-eating Zods? iPhone’s super-bright screen has left us with a whole lot more juice for our mechanical monster.





Post haste

Never again will we return from vacation to the scowl of one of our friends or relatives who we accidentally left off our obligatory postcard list. Not only can we make an iCal reminder that pops up mid-way through our trip, we don’t even have to get ripped off at our hotel gift shop anymore. Any number of apps will turn our photos into neat digital postcards that can be whisked away without having to put down our mojito.

 

COMMENTS: 4
TAGS:  App Store
COMMENTS
avatarYour Kidding

I hope this article is parody because there is not one thing on this list that the iPhone is directly responsible for rendering useless.

Great there is a app to tell me how many calories I burn after taking a VFW chili night crap but I sure as hell can't make a call from that bathroom without it being dropped.

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avatarrest assured

the article was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

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avatarToo funny!

Thanks for breaking into a boring day with a funny article. Extra thanks for mentioning my home town of San Leandro...LOL. ;-)

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