Exclusive: The $99 iPhone Specs Revealed - Okay, Not Really

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Exclusive: The $99 iPhone Specs Revealed - Okay, Not Really

Posted 02/25/2009 at 6:04:44am | by Roberto Baldwin

It's the stuff of analyst and recession victims dream's. A $99 iPhone with an incredibly cheap data plan. Our Mac|Life super spies snuck into a top-secret Apple building in Cupertino and "borrowed" the prototype for the $99 iPhone.

We learned that the $99 isn't nearly as full-featured as the regular iPhone. Apple had to slash a few features in order to hit the specified price point. But hey, it's still an iPhone.

Check out the list of sweet, sweet, features that make the $99 iPhone a possibility.

99 iphone

A. Retro-green mono-chrome screen. Green is the color of money, the color of all the money you saved because you're not basking in full color.

B. Plug your iPhone into any available phone jack. Never worry about unlocking your iPhone, just finding a phone jack.

C. Why send a text message when you can send an entire fax. It's like receiving a letter from 1994!

D. Cameras cost money. Instead of installing one of fancy cameras, Apple installed Mac Paint so you can create your own rendition of what you see.

E. 56.6Kbps Modem. That's right, you're gonna flying through those text-based Web sites. Turns out that phone cord isn't just for phone calls.

F. It's the grandaddy of all social networks. With BBS Master you can sign into your favorite BBS and share your views on Telnet.

G. iTunes Lite. You need processing power to play MP3 and AAC files. With iTunes Lite you can purchase MIDI versions of your favorite songs.

H. iPod Lite. You gotta play those MIDI files somewhere.

I. Play old-school games in glorious green. Keep your family from contracting dysentery with Oregon Trail, battle your archenemy in Kung Fu, or play a rousing game of solitaire.

COMMENTS: 46

TAGS: Hilarious, WTF, Seriously it's a Joke People

COMMENTS

wow
Submitted by iKev on Wed, 2009-02-25 07:52

ok thats really messed up
i was kinda excited for a sec

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wow
Submitted by alexclark938 on Wed, 2009-02-25 09:56

weak

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MaclLife, you've gone too far.
Submitted by tsimo7 on Wed, 2009-02-25 11:46

I trust this site for legit Apple news. I don't need to waste my time with this kind of shit because you guys want to look good in front of your co-workers. Are you really this bored?

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Too far?
Submitted by Roberto Baldwin on Wed, 2009-02-25 12:20

Hi,
I like to think Mac|Life is a delicious blend of news and fun. I find the sheer amount of analyst predictions concerning the iPhone to be hilarious.The $99 iPhone was just the icing on the cake of hilarity. Without taking into consideration the cost of the actual hardware beyond the 3G and GPS chip, we've been told again and again that Apple will be releasing this mythical low-end beast.
After Apple came out and told the world that they weren't interested in releasing a low-end, feature chopped iPhone, sites continued to push the rumor and speculation.
This is a reaction to that sort of rampant speculation and rumor mongering. I had hoped that placing the hilarious tag, placing a mono-chrome image of the phone app on the front page and finally insinuating that we were able to "borrow" a prototype from Apple (when we all know that will never happen) would tip readers off to the joke.
If you don't find the article funny, that's your perogative and I respect that. If you feel you've been duped, then I apologize. That was never my intention.
-Robbie
Online Editor
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WTF?
Submitted by peter0379 on Wed, 2009-02-25 11:59

Very lame Roberto.

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What?! Next you'll be
Submitted by Ray Aguilera on Wed, 2009-02-25 12:29

What?! Next you'll be telling us Apple isn't ever going to release the $400 MacBook Net everyone wants! Oh, wait...
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why so harsh
Submitted by nrussell on Wed, 2009-02-25 14:07

Well, I for one was amused.

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I'm sold
Submitted by tardigrade on Wed, 2009-02-25 15:11

Where and when can I buy one?

Does it support infra-red transfer and does it have an RS232 serial port? Does it use AA batteries or the smaller AAA one's?

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@tardigrade: HA! AAAs FTW.
Submitted by Ray Aguilera on Thu, 2009-02-26 10:41

@tardigrade: HA! AAAs FTW. Robbie also neglected to mention the little roll of thermal fax paper that piggybacks onto the back.
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reply to tardigrade
Submitted by jyuichi on Mon, 2009-03-02 19:19

You have made my day good sir XD My engineering teacher (who ironically bought a macbook to run XP) is convinced the only way to transfer data from our ROV is RS232.... I love the article :D These sorts of things are why i subscribe to MacLife! Sleepless Nights & Wakeless Days

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haha
Submitted by dclor on Wed, 2009-02-25 14:53

Roberto - well done. My friends and I found it to be quite funny.

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FUNNY
Submitted by mrreet2001 on Thu, 2009-02-26 06:14

What no choplifter, lode runner or Cross Country USA?
Total Classic ROFLMAO

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Funny!!!!
Submitted by CaptainV45 on Thu, 2009-02-26 07:48

Can't... stop... laughing...

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Confused
Submitted by rustyinsf on Mon, 2009-03-02 18:32

I don't get it. Is this serious, or a comedy routine. Regardless, it seems like a waste of time, having had to guess if this is a spoof-article worthy of consideration by The Onion, for if it's genuine news of what's really to come. I'm a new subscribe to the magazine, and I hope this is a big exception to what kind of stuff is allowed in it.

rusty

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Fantastic!
Submitted by SirGadget on Mon, 2009-03-02 23:54

We really need this sort of bad humor, amongst all those speculations about new hardware from our beloved Apple. Can be really exhausting to keep up with all those rumors:P

Roberto, great article, keep 'em coming;-)

And to those of you who bark at him. What's the freakin' point? No point in commenting, if you don't have anything constructive to say:-/

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Go Retro!
Submitted by RayCon on Tue, 2009-03-03 18:26

How does it sync? Does it have an ADB port? Serial port?
How much memory? 20 MB or 40MB?
Is there a QuickTake camera (0.3MP) on the back?
Will it make me feel as young as I was in 1994?

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Cheapest iPhone
Submitted by captbill_98 on Sat, 2009-03-07 20:27

Not a joke is the copy of the iPhone that is available in China for less than $200 US. The only difference I could see from the real, genuine iPhone 3G is that the cheap copy has very limited battery life.

Since the Chinese are the manufacturers of iPhones, it only goes to reason to believe that someone stole the plans and specs and now erzatz copies are available at super cheap prices. This is not a joke, but grim reality and a strong caveat emptor re where you buy your product.

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