When it comes to New Year’s Eve, it’s all about the party. From elegant, seven-course dinners to all-night drunken ragers, how you ring in the new decade sets the tone for the remaining 365 days; and since we don’t have the Macworld Expo to look forward to this year, the effects of a bad party can cast a particularly gloomy cloud over the first few weeks of 2010.

But this year, you hold your own fate in your hands--literally. With an iPhone in your pocket, even the lamest of gatherings can be magically transformed into something that’s at least cool enough to chronicle on your Facebook page.

The bad date

The only thing worse than a bad party is a bad companion. Since you can’t exactly run out on your date (at least not before midnight, anyway), there are several iPhone-approved ways to avoid face time with your insignificant other.

The easiest way to steal away for an hour or so is to fake an excuse. Using any number of sham phone call apps (we like Fake a Call, which lets you set a timer, voice type, ringtone and number with ease), you can trick your date into thinking an important call is coming through from your mom, sister, best friend (just make sure they’re not actually at the party), or, if you’re desperate, your doctor or boss. Or, to really sell the emergency, ignore the faux call and send yourself a fake follow-up text.

With phase one complete (separation), you can move on to phase two, circumvention. Now, there are several ways to accomplish this, with varying degrees of difficulty. The simplest, of course, is to use your fake caller as an excuse to bail, but if you don’t want to worry about corroborating stories, head over to Google and find an illness. We recommend something with stomach pains; if he doesn’t believe you, a few sound effects from Excuse Me will more than back up your story.

Of course, these are only temporary solutions, so the most proven way to keep a bad date at bay is to scare him senseless, with a little help from a few choice apps. Call your friends and insist he talks to them. Remind him every few minutes exactly how close it is to the ball-drop. Plan the first seven outfits of the new year. Talk incessantly about your exes. Quiz them on the U.S. presidents. And if they’ve withstood, break out the big guns: your favorite baby names. And just for good measure, tell them how you always knew you’d meet the perfect life partner before 2010.

The snoozer

We know they’re your friends, but that doesn’t mean they don’t throw the most boring parties ever. Usually we’d just suffer through the night with a few beers and a game of Scrabble, but on New Year’s Eve, something needs to be done. And you and your iPhone are just the pair to get the party started right.

First things first: music. Instead of those emo hits playing on an incessant loop in the dining room, jazz things up with a few choice tunes from Pandora Radio. Once the party’s appropriately hopping, hit the bar. Ditch the champagne cocktails and the Kahlua, and start mixing some serious drinks with the help of iBartender. A few rounds of zombies should do the trick.

Once everyone is nice and loose, it’s time to get naughty--or at least as naughty as the Apple-approved apps will let you get. Start off slow with a variation of the timeless Never Have I Ever drinking game, iShakeapps’ Have U Eva? (part of the Adult Games pack), to tear down any inhibitions that may be left. Once everyone’s feeling randy, move on to Adult Truth or Dare (make sure you have plenty of ice and chocolate syrup on hand). Wanna kiss your buddy’s girlfriend without getting punched? Adult TD lets you edit and customize any dare to your most devilish desires.  

Now that your friends are equally embarrassed, half-dressed and horny, the remaining conscious partygoers can kiss, touch and rub the rest of the year away with Sexy Game, which assures the night won’t end when the ball drops.

The family party

We feel your pain. Few things are worse than being trapped in a house with a couple dozen relatives while your friends are living it up less than a mile away. But it doesn’t have to be quite so lame, thanks to your trusty iPhone.

The key here is subtlety. You’re dealing with forty- and fifty-somethings, so cranking the music and passing out drinks will just create confusion. (Besides, do you really want to watch your mom dancing around like a wasted teenager?) So head over to the Family Games section of the app store for some wholesome fun. You wouldn’t know it by watching Game Show Network reruns, but Family Feud will pass the time nicely (with the added bonus of your uncle’s slightly racist guesses).

Once the game devolves into the inevitable shouting match, it’s probably time to switch gears. And number of Would You Rather? games will fit the need for a friendly, casual, noncompetitive breather before you pit them all against each other in a drop-down, drag-out Word Party tournament. Here you have two options: You can either play along or wait for your hot cousins to turn on each other and start pulling hair. Don’t worry if you feel funny. It’s OK.

And once it’s all over, and everyone is waiting for everyone else to turn their back so they can start talking about how two-faced they are, remind them what they’ve gathered to celebrate. Of course, crudely rendered digital fireworks are no match for “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve,” but after your family realizes they missed the big moment, it won’t matter.

The mixer

Few things are more pathetic than a party of dateless losers fighting over the few girls they could cajole into joining them. But with your iPhone in had, you can set yourself apart from the crowd and find yourself a pair of lips before the midnight deadline rolls around.

The first thing you’ll need is a healthy dose of confidence, and you can find it in the form of Get Any Girl, an exhaustive guide that breaks down dating into simple, logical terms and will get you up to speed in no time. Learn how to dress, communicate and converse while honing your Emotional Freedom Technique and “tapping out” negative energy (just make sure no one’s watching). And if you’re still jittery, just use Pocket Hypnosis to calm the rest of your nerves.

With a crash-course in romance under your belt, the party awaits. Review Perfect Date’s checklist before heading out, and get there early so you can narrow down your pursuits before making your move. Once you’re ready to advance on your target, you’ll need a pickup line, and iPhone has way more than you’ll ever need (though 1001+ Best PickUp Lines actually has some decent ones). Ignore the eye-rolling. She’s just playing hard to get.

With the ice successfully broken, it’s time for an awkward conversation, and First Date Guru can help you avoid any conversation pitfalls with its handy list of talking points and complements sure to make her melt. If she’s still unsure you’re the one (and really, how could she be?) take her for a ride on the LoveCalc and prove your compatibility.

And as the final countdown approaches, there’re just two more things you’ll need: How to Kiss, to make sure the moment’s just right; and Pocket Girlfriend, for when she ditches you just in the nick of time.