If we ran Apple… well, we’d run it into the ground. But we’d still love to see these products!

It took multiple meetings, several bags of candy corn, and plenty of deliberation to put together those last three fauxtotypes you just read through, but some of our favorite ideas didn’t make the cut. Here’s a look at our own personal wish list for what we’d like Apple to manufacture. You never know, it could happen.

Ham-Ham KittyPup

Apple combines the playfulness of a puppy, the cuddliness of a kitten, the supercute size of a hamster, and the hyperintelligent brain of Siri to perfect the household pet. With technological advancements that put simple robot-dog toys to shame, Ham-Ham KittyPup could fetch your slippers and download the digital edition of the morning paper; chase mice and check Yelp for top-rated exterminators; entertain the kids and--using its built-in camera--post videos of their joyful play sessions to Facebook. And with state-of-the-art facial-recognition software, Ham-Ham KittyPup could customize its cuddling for each family member, track the sneaky comings and goings of your teenager, and alert the police if a suspicious character comes around. Ham-Ham KittyPup: for when your kids demand a dog but you’d rather spend the money on another Apple gizmo.

- Chris Slate

iGame

Imagine a video game system no bigger than an Apple TV that would allow you to stream console-quality titles (like OnLive), while utilizing Apple’s gargantuan data centers. The device would work with a controller you already had, like an iOS device. Apple could also release hardware with joysticks and physical buttons, which is entirely probable because the company already owns the patent. I’ll bet that my dreams have already come true in some testing centerdeep in the caves of Cupertino.

- Nic Vargus

Apple Toaster

Apple’s known for taking things that already exist and turning up the awesome. And now that they’ve taken over my office and living room, I’d like to see them take over the kitchen. Starting with the toaster. It’s a simple appliance, but pretty much every toaster I’ve ever used sucks. But Apple could change that. The Apple Toaster would have customizable presets, so everyone could quickly adjust it to their preferred toast settings. Sensors inside could tell bagels from sliced bread, Pop Tarts, and your other toastables, guaranteeing the perfect amount of toastiness every time. Unlike the crappy toaster you have, the Apple Toaster would produce consistently delicious toast, with even toasting on both sides. Add in Jonny Ive’s impeccable product design, and I’m sold.

A small touchscreen would offer basic controls, and an iOS app could be used to set up presets and define custom toasting settings. You could even upload 8-bit grayscale JPEGs to print toasted images on yourbread. WozToast, anyone?

- Ray Aguilera

iBookPad

I don’t have an iPad because reading on that screen strains my already sensitive vision, but I’m crazy about my Kindle because its e-ink makes reading a pleasurable experience. If Apple created a tablet with bare-bones functionality--just apps for email and books, for instance--at the same affordable price as an entry-level Kindle, I’d snatch one up in a second. To up the ante, Apple could even add over-the-air syncing and microSD expansion slots.

- Florence Ion