Fireworks, picnics, and drunken renditions of “Stars and Stripes Forever”… hope your Fourth of July was everything you could want it to be. However, it doesn’t have to come to an end just yet. With the July 11 release of the new iPhone 3G, Apple has conveniently given us a reason to celebrate a second long weekend in a row. Combining those Independence Day remnants you’ve got lying around the house with your iPhone anticipation only makes sense.
Here are some tips on how bring that Fourth of July flair with you Thursday night/Friday morning as you wait in line for your iPhone 3G:
- Patriotism – Hold on to that tingly feeling that you get when Lee Greenwood sings “God Bless the USA” by reminding yourself that you are doing your country a favor by stimulating the economy. Trading your old device for the new iPhone 3G… well, it’s downright American. You don’t see any iPhones heading to Communist Cuba, do you?
- Bunting – Bunting is to the Fourth of July what lights are to Christmas, but bunting never seems to stay up as long. Keep it out a little bit longer this year by turning your bunting into a warm - yet festive - covering for that long night out on the sidewalk. Nothing says, “I’m ready for my iPhone 3G” like a bib of bunting tucked under your chin!
- Sparklers and Firework Fountains – Standing in line is a tricky business. There’s always that joker in front of you that starts inviting friends up from the back of the line to share his space, naturally encroaching on yours. Lighting a couple of firework fountains stakes your claim with finesse! Utilize leftover sparklers to fend off those ill-mannered line cutters. You can also spell your name with them in the dark!
- Hot Dog! – 10 packs of franks for $10 sounded like such a good deal on July 3rd. So good in fact, that you sent each family member to the grocery store to take advantage of the situation… and now you have a surplus of wieners and buns that could take months to consume. Well, never fear! You’re going to be in line with lots of hungry iPhone enthusiasts… so bring on the grill! Depending on your mood, grill ‘em up and hand them out. Or, if you’re like my cousin George, sell ‘em for a dollar each and by 8 a.m. you just might have enough cash for some sweet accessories.
- Funniest Fourth Home Movies – Every year someone at the party gets a little out of control. (I remember the time when my Aunt Betsy decided to prove to us that she could water ski “Just like the Go-Go’s in that music video!”) Hopefully you caught some of those antics on video and placed them on your soon to be really expensive iPod Touch (AKA your old iPhone). Since it’s going to be a long night and you can only sing so many rounds of ‘99 iPhone 3G’s on the Wall’ so why not start up a Funniest Fourth Home Movie contest. Let the guy in front of the line be the judge and the winner takes second place.
- Souza-cize! – The night wears on and suddenly that lawn chair isn’t that comfortable anymore. Don’t let yourself get cramped up – you’ll need to be limber in the morning to jump up and claim what’s rightfully yours! Keep the blood pumping by organizing frequent bouts of calisthenics throughout the night to patriotic marches. Your friends may grumble, but they’ll thank you later when you are the few who still have feeling in your limbs.
- The “big one” – 7:30 a.m…. 7:45… 7:50… 7:55… Every year my neighbor Ben stashes away a dozen or so packs of fireworks from his Independence Day arsenal, including M-80’s. Perhaps you do the same? Bring ‘em out with you and strap a few on to your old cell phone, light that sucker at 7:59 a.m., and send it off with a bang!
Typical Fireworks Disclaimer: Blowing up old cell phones, no matter how much they deserve it, is not only dangerous, it's probably illegal. Use common sense people and enjoy iPhone Day.
