The Jersey Shore is a complete anomaly. It’s a reality television show, but without any semblance of actual reality. Regardless, we still wish that we could tan like those guys--or at least fake it. Fortunately, there's an app for that. 
I once followed Snooki for a week on Twitter before I got sad and didn’t want to follow Snooki anymore.
With Jersey Shore Tan, you too can oversaturate your photos (and your skin!) to a wonderful orange glow. And if orange isn't enough for you, then fist pump up the tan a few more notches, until you’re a cool crispy brown and resemble the color of perfectly cooked bacon. Mmm, bacon.
You can go from this:
WHAT A LOSER!
to this: 
WOW, THAT GUY IS HOT! Like this side of bacon, mmm.
You do have to take one thing into consideration, however. The label on the side of the app says:
WARNING: Excessive tanning may increase your desire to fist pump. Jersey Shore Tan will not do your laundry, Jersey Shore Tan does not protect you from grenades, landmines, or zoo animals, Hair gel and poof are not included. Spend at least three hours at the gym daily for best tan results.
All this can be yours for only $.99. Get it now! Or whateva’, sit there and keep eating fried pickles.
