A Zoological Survey of Indigenous Expo Fauna. And Stuff.

Anonymous's picture

A Zoological Survey of Indigenous Expo Fauna. And Stuff.

Day Four of our journey into the polished glass and aluminum jungles of Mosconia found our party exhausted and almost beyond hope -- of getting a decent latte, foodstuffs under $20, and, most importantly, what we came for: perfect specimens of MaccusExpous. This genus thrives in the glow of LEDs, conspicuous iPhone usage, and rhapsodic flights of tech lust. But as luck would have it, our fortunes changed, and there in open sight, the various species emerged before our eyes and began milling on the range. We brought not tranquilizer darts, but cameras, and are now happy to share what we found on our long sojourn into the heart of, um, well, you know.


1. The Bearded disco Cowboy: No sudden moves, as he attacks when frightened. Preferred diet? Giveaway iPod cases, the more flamboyant the better.


2. The Chambray-Flocked Braveheart: “A’yew take the ‘aigh road and Ah’ll take the low road and Ah’ll be in Expo before yew!” We don’t imagine he’s asking for leggings.


3. The Kid: When people start complaining about kids today? This is the kid they’re complaining about. Stay in school, Jimmy.


4. The ’80s All Over Again: This species is a grimacing reminder of the day when titillation ruled and trade shows were bookended by parties at “gentlemen’s clubs.” You’ll recognize her distinctive song: “Leave me alone. Just take a brochure and leave me alone.”




+ Add a Comment


I know I had a good time with this. Thanks and keep it up please. I love you guys. Well, love in a friend way. Not love as in you're getting something special on Valentine's Day. Although, if Rob Capps where still there, I'd be all over that. Oops, shared too much I think.

Seriously though, I like the humor and it's why I stick with you folks at MacLife.


Anonymous Coward

The smug reporter with column inches to fill and nothing to say. How about a story about Macs instead of trying (in vain I might add) to be funny?



Here, here, Mr. Coward, sir! I couldn't agree more. Mac news, please, macLife people -- leave humor to the pros.



Lighten up guys! They'll report news when there's news to report. They don't have to write columns like these, but they do, so some of us don't die of boredom while we wait for our 30 min FCP sequence to render.

I like the humor (as mild as it may be), so keep it coming. I trust you'll report news when it comes in, just like you've ALWAYS done.

Log in to Mac|Life directly or log in using Facebook

Forgot your username or password?
Click here for help.

Login with Facebook
Log in using Facebook to share comments and articles easily with your Facebook feed.