Forums | MacLife

Iran
North Korea
Iraq
Libya
Cuba
Syria

These 6 make up the 'Axis of Evil'  Since I am decidedly against Evil, here's my plan to take out these evil states:

1)  First we take out those states that are of most threat to our survival.  This means Iraq, North Korea, and Cuba (since it's so damn close)

   1a)  For dealing with Cuba, I suggest we develop a special kind of Torpedo.  It will be the JDAM-badass mofo of torpedos.  It will launch into the air at a certain point right before landfall and take out a city block.  We'll take out the major leadership of Cuba and then organize a revolt by the people.  Sure, some torpedos will be lost running into whales and illiegal immigrants and such, but oh well, war is messy.

   1b)  Iraq - we will take out the Iraqi's using the method we are doing now, good old ground invasion.  We don't want to f**k up the oil fields for 10,000 years by launching fat boy on fat ass saddam.

  1c)  North Korea  -  Here's where things get messy.  First we start by napalming the cities, starting with the capital, P'YONGYANG and cities along the border with South Korea.  This is a technique I call "preheating the oven."  Next, we launch a little boy ICBM at P'YONGYANG and the cities along the border.  If they do not unconditionally surrender at this point, we invade.

Part II:  Clean Up

Now the world is a safer place, because:
1)  There is fewer nuclear weapons (we just blew some in NK)
2)  North Korea is no longer a threat
3)  Cuba has a democratic government
4)  We have secured the Iraqi oil reserves while eliminating Saddam

Now, we take on Iran, Lybia and Syria.

2a)  The Iranians are somewhat pro-west with somewhat terror prone leadership.  First, since they have seen us use nuclear weapons (no doubt recorded digitally and broadcated live over the Internet through Akami) we should force the leaders to give up power immediately.  This means, no more Iran problem.  And it also gives us the grace (and saves men lives) because we won't have to deal with their Army.

  2b)  Lybia and Syria should also give up immediately (since now they have no support.  If not, we should take them down using a similar technique to North Korea.

BAM!  No more axis of evil.  The U.S. is an empire, therefore we should use our almighty empire powers to make the world a better place.