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What I've found interesting -

When I go somewhere with a girl, other girls are a lot flirtier with me.
When I go to a bar alone (not often) - I usually only get attention if I play pool or darts.
If I go to a bar with a buddy (also not often) - then girls who are there in pairs will flirt with us both.

Not sure what that has to do with peachie being a geek - but

Oh - whenever I go to a church I haven't been to before, single mothers seek me out.

resedit wrote:

Oh - whenever I go to a church I haven't been to before, single mothers seek me out.

It's weird. But it's true.

justine wrote:

resedit wrote:

Oh yeah - and girls that are there in pairs, usually its one hot and one not.
I'm guessing the hot one goes with the not one so that she has less competiton - and the not one goes with the hot one so she gets more attention.

Do you really believe this bullsmurf?

I noticed this in high school. Even pretty, popular girls can be insecure, and if you have the pick of your hangers-on, why choose a potential adversary?

They choose one whose family comes from a poorer income bracket, and/or less education, and/or less 'fashion sense', and with the giant ego that accompanies the looks, these little Marie Antoinettes think they can create their own equals and give their new little friend the priceless gift of admission into their superior world.  Inevitably, the 'popularity' would rub off on the less well thought of girl, and she would become a rival, and get exchanged for someone else. It was a weird, twisted, dynamic. Of course, this carries on into college and beyond with this bunch, but luckily there is a wider variety of social groups to fall into.

Phydeaux wrote:

resedit wrote:

Oh - whenever I go to a church I haven't been to before, single mothers seek me out.

It's weird. But it's true.

Any article on singles trying to find mates will mention church as a primo spot find someone new. There also aren't a lot a places a single mother can go hunting.

Any article on singles trying to find mates will mention church as a primo spot find someone new. There also aren't a lot a places a single mother can go hunting.

I think the thing with single mothers at churches is that they are often looking for a potential father for their children, and a single guy who chooses to go to church is seen as someone who has values and thus may be a better candidate than someone at a club or bar.

dvpierce wrote:

resedit wrote:

Any article on singles trying to find mates will mention church as a primo spot find someone new. There also aren't a lot a places a single mother can go hunting.

I think the thing with single mothers at churches is that they are often looking for a potential father for their children, and a single guy who chooses to go to church is seen as someone who has values and thus may be a better candidate than someone at a club or bar.

I've noticed people sometimes get really uptight when they get dumped if they feel like they were lied to or used. Probably some kind of emotional survival mechanism. "It doesn't matter that I went along with it, did all those drugs, screwed him and his three friends at the same time, or had his baby - it was all his fault." Religion is one - though hardly the only - way that people can learn to like themselves again.

As for the "one hot, one not" thing, I think that's probably because if you take two people off the street, one will be more attractive than the other. In my experience, if you see them by themselves, chances are they'd look perfectly attractive. There really aren't enough ugly people for every attractive person to keep one as a pet.

Maybe I'm misreading what you wrote, but it is more a question of how people see themselves, ie; an insecure person is never going to be 'pretty enough', so she pals around with someone that she thinks makes her look better.

Regarding the single mom  in church: my experience is that if people are inclined to attach themselves to an abuser, alcoholic, etc, then no matter where they are then they will.

Regarding the single mom  in church: my experience is that if people are inclined to attach themselves to an abuser, alcoholic, etc, then no matter where they are then they will.

Yup.
But single moms in churches doesn't mean one who attaches themselves to an abuser, alcoholic, etc.

-=-

It is scary though, Redding (where I live) has the highest population of sex offenders in the State - why, I don't know - rumor is the city gets money for allowing Marysville (prison) to dump paroled convicts here, but I've never seen anything official.

IMHO a single mother should never go after a guy until she knows him, for the safety of her children - but emotions and logic are hard to keep properly in check.

justine wrote:

resedit wrote:

Oh yeah - and girls that are there in pairs, usually its one hot and one not.
I'm guessing the hot one goes with the not one so that she has less competiton - and the not one goes with the hot one so she gets more attention.

Do you really believe this bullsmurf?

Yeah, and thats why you get your friend with the lower standards to come to the club or whatever with you to "wingman", and take care of the ugly (less attractive) friend.

mtpalms wrote:

NoExit wrote:

mtpalms wrote:

...people are inclined to attach themselves to an abuser, alcoholic, etc, ...

so thats what im doing wrong !!

There's a twelve step program for that.


Seriously, I go to a lot of meetings, and the story from a lot of people is that no matter where they go, and how hard they try to avoid it, they always seem to manage to hook up with the type of persone they swear they will never get involved with again. All sorts of people go to church, not just the saintly.

The next time you cross paths with a woman like that, suggest she read Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.

resedit wrote:

mtpalms wrote:

All sorts of people go to church, not just the saintly.

Yup - the church is for the lost - and the churches do things specifically to attract these people - AA and Abuse recovery programs, etc.

I'm not sure about the church, but yes, 12 step programs are about attraction (rather than promotion.) It's a Tradition.