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So I have been thinking about current world events. Specifically the terrorist question, and what to do about it. I have talked with friends, family, my priest and people at school about a few ideas. Now keep in mind when I say 'idea' I man something along the lines of "Shock and Awe". I have come up with a few solutions to the problem, and frankly they are rather "Trump Card" in nature. Meaning, 1 move. Game over we win. Now before I list the ideas I want to make 1 thing clear. I am not actually advocating genocide, murder, torture or warfare in general. I simply want to have a real conversation with people about my idea's without having anyone scream "Nazi" or something. So if we can avoid all the BS and actually discuss what I am about to propose in a calm civil manner like the level headed educated adults most of us claim to be. So without further ado:

Idea #1:

Nuke the middle east. All of it. Every grain of sand in ever country in the ENTIRE region. This way we don't target 1 group (say Hamas) and end up hurting another innocent group who will feel slighted by us and form a terrorist cell and blow up a subway or something similar and stupid. We will also avoid the whole 'Nam situation. The one where we don't really know who is on are side, and if that kid really wants to get some candy from the nice american soldier, or if they have 30lbs of C4 strapped to their innocent looking little bodies. You will no longer have a religion that preaches the removal and subjugation of other religions, in a position to be the government of said foreign country. No more masses who can't read and HAVE to rely on the Holy Cleric to translate the book for them, thus telling them that Allah wants them to blow op Americans. You have no more anything. No Arabs, No Turks, No Indians. They have been removed from the equation. The entire geographical region will be stabilized in less than 1 hour (politically speaking). Threat to American Troops: None. Pull out. Let them (native populations) think they won and dance in the street. Then boom, and silence. Just the way it should be. Sure there'll be political heck to pay afterwards, but really, other than strong words I highly doubt any 1 country or coalition of them would do anything to threaten the U.S. You know the only country to nuke someone and end the war in 1 stroke. People die in war. Innocents as well. If they truly supported us and believed in a greater good, then they will humbly make that sacrifice.

Idea #2:

Nuke Israel. Specifically, Jerusalem. It seems everybody wants to be the sole owner of this toy. No one ever learned how to share, and no, they are never going to work out their differences. Just like children. Well, when my kids fight over a toy and can't work it out, I take the toy away from both of them. Same thing here. If you guys can't share that pile of rocks, then to shut you both up, I'm going to nuke it. Be nice, or I'll take your toy away. Without 'The Holy Land' they'll have nothing to fight over. Which means they might use their resources to build some real houses to live in. Not these alabaster holes they've had for the last 2000 years.

Idea #3:

Slaughter 1 million pigs. Gather the blood. Put said blood in tanker planes. Escort planes to middle east. Use every fighter plane and bomber plane in the ENTIRE U.S. ARSENAL as escorts. The sky will be blackened. Then it will rain pigs blood. Then the terrorists will be denied entrance in to heaven. Therefore they no longer have a reason to blow up planes and buildings in the name of Allah. See, they won't have 21 virgins waiting for them in heaven. Therefore no reason to die early. This way we avoid that whole nuclear winter thing, and the same goal has been achieved.

Idea #4:

Build a 300ft high wall 125ft thick around Israel and it's enemies. Every three feet install machine guns, grenade launchers, mine launchers, gas rockets, acid sprayers and all projectile weapons (Howitzers, mortars, etc.). Give every weapon laser and infra-red tracking systems. On the topic of the wall place soldiers. Hundreds of thousands of them. Fill the entire top of the wall with humans with machine guns. Use troops from every country so as to show a world stance on the situation. Tell the Arabs and the Jews: Either get along or kill yourselves, were not playing this stupid game anymore, and we refuse to let you leave the area until a decision has been made. Non-compliance will result in the immediate removal of all of you populations by force using every means necessary. Now go solve your problems and stop making them our problems. You obviously need help figuring out who to shoot. So we made it easy. Shoot anyone inside the wall. Shooting our troops will only result in what can best be described as a blatant show of force resulting in the deaths of thousands for every 1 troop (of ours) that you wound or kill. This would also solve the problem and minus the bodies everywhere, would have a minimal (if even, noticeable) impact on the ecosystem. That and there's more oxygen for the rest of us.

Idea #5:

Declare war on the entire region. Use the scorched earth policy. Leave nothing alive, and no resources available. Use nothing but remote controlled tanks, guns, robots and bombs. Kill everything that moves (camels, camel spiders, horses, people [old, sick, young, and strong]).  Eventually they'll either cry uncle or there won't be anyone left to worry about.

Idea #6:

Install radio controlled bombs in the chest cavities of every man woman and child who is a native or citizen of the entire middle eastern region of the globe. Set the perimiter to be 5" outside of the national boundries for each country. Walk away. They'll never leave the middle east, and hence we won't have to deal with them, except to install bombs in newborns, thus preventing a new generation of stupid terrorists.

They call us the Great Satan. Well Satan is Lord of The Morning, The Bringer Of Light. There's an awful lot of light in a nuclear explosion. I hope they got SPF100000.

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Remember: I am not advocating, championing, or even condoning actions in the above mentioned manner. I simply saying, we have some trump cards. You know end the game on turn 2 (turn 1 was theirs). Game over, you lose, and I'm going back to bed now. I am not Hitler, nor a psycho. It's simply some military strategy that I would like to discuss. I don't attend KKK meetings, know any Neo-Nazi's (nor would I associate with people of that genetic and intellectual caliber). Again, let's talk about war plans, pure and simple. Not religion, nor genocide, nor mass murderer innuendoes.

So here's the question:


In terms of pure military strategy (no religion or politics, just pure unadulterated warfare), which of the above mentioned strategies do you think would end the game? Which 1 is the worst idea? Why?

Please refrain from the following in your responses:

1. Religious babble. I don't want to hear any mark of the beast or rapture crap. I get it every sunday.
2. No references to the holocaust please. That was not strategy, but a temper tantrum.
3. Political crap of any kind. I don't want to hear crap about the UN or Congress or anything. Politicians are a waste of genetic material and their art shall not be discussed in the thread.

Please do the following:

1. Provide a clear and concise breakdown of which idea is good and which is bad. Let me know why, from a purely military strategy standpoint, you agree or disagree with the proposed solution to end the war.
2. Provide backup / reference material (No Wiki's. Any idiot can post there. I want  to hear from Generals and planners, not some accountant in Idaho  who watches CNN).
3. Remain level headed. Do not let your initial reaction of OMG influence the tone of your response. Be Commander Data. Turn off your emotions and respond coldly (not to me dude, but to the question)

I am looking forward to hearing from people whom I consider smart and educated (yes you). Please, let's have a nice civil discussion on matters of military strategy. Nothing more nothing less. Think of it as a test. A test for mini think. Can we discuss something from a detached (almost scientific) viewpoint without letting emotions or religion / politics (the 2 are the same) and come to a rational and valid answer to the proposed question? I hope we can. I really do. It would be "insanely great" to have a nice talk about strategy without anything else getting in the way.

I look forward to hearing from you. I do not look forward to someone derailing my topic with religious or political banter. You are General Douglas MacArthur. You are looking over proposed battle plans. Which one would you pick? Remember destruction or pacification of the enemy is you goal. Nothing more, nothing less.

Bring it on.




MODS: Again, I am not advocating, violence, warfare, genocide, or kitten porn. I am not threatening anyone. Let's get that clear. I just want to talk military strategy. Nothing more, Nothing less.