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#1 2007-07-19 7:57 pm

Beowulf
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From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Irresponsible friend

Or am I just a smurf?

This has been bugging me for a while. A couple months ago I lent a good friend of mine a Nikon S70 camera. It's a nice camera. It's on a semi-permanent loan from a professional photographer, so obviously I'm responsible for it's safety in the event he asks for it back.

One week into my friend borrowing the camera, he loses the lens cap. I tell him he should buy a new one. Just suggesting it because I figured he would freaking do it. Apparently not. I fronted him the 6 bucks or so to do it just to get it over with for the safety of the lens. But no, he fails to do so a week later and I just get my money back. A few more weeks pass.

A week ago I got fed up when it become completely obvious that he had no intention whatsoever of replacing the lens cap that he lost. So I told him to give me the camera back a week from that day or prove to me that the lens cap was replaced.

One side, I'm doing the right thing and he's creating an unpleasant situation between us by not taking good care of something I've lent him.

Am I being a bad friend by giving him this ultimatum? How would you go about something like this with someone you know?

Last edited by Beowulf (2007-07-19 7:58 pm)

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#2 2007-07-19 7:59 pm

Nicholas D. Wolfwood
Member
Registered: 2007-04-20
Posts: 355

Re: Irresponsible friend

actually, if it's not yours, then it's not really yours to loan.


If you go to the bathroom during Phydeaux's 30,000th post, you'll be sorry.

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#3 2007-07-19 8:06 pm

Beowulf
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From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Nicholas D. Wolfwood wrote:

actually, if it's not yours, then it's not really yours to loan.

I talked to the owner before I lent it out and he said it would be fine.

Should have mentioned this - It was fine for me to loan it out.

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#4 2007-07-19 8:12 pm

justine
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From: Sac'to
Registered: 1999-12-23
Posts: 28812
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Why are you going to wait another week? You shoulda said 'go get the camera now'.

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#5 2007-07-19 8:19 pm

Beowulf
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From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Make that two weeks ago. Today is the day.

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#6 2007-07-19 9:16 pm

user
Your plastic pal who's fun to be with
From: I'm not getting you down, am I
Registered: 2001-10-15
Posts: 16468

Re: Irresponsible friend

Nikon lens cap is way more than 6 bucks. Try 30.


Aw, he's no fun, he fell right over.

Unless you become as little children, there's no way you will believe this crap.

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#7 2007-07-19 9:18 pm

Beowulf
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From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

I found a place that sold the right size (52mm) no-name brand. Even easier for him which makes it more outrageous that he didn't do it.

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#8 2007-07-19 9:22 pm

user
Your plastic pal who's fun to be with
From: I'm not getting you down, am I
Registered: 2001-10-15
Posts: 16468

Re: Irresponsible friend

Those off-brands just aren't the same. They get popped off too easily. If I was the photographer, I wouldn't want it. So if the org cap had "Nikon" on it, you'll need to start looking for a deal. You'll probably be able to find a clean used one in New York, though.


Aw, he's no fun, he fell right over.

Unless you become as little children, there's no way you will believe this crap.

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#9 2007-07-19 9:25 pm

Beowulf
Member
From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

He can pay for it.
- Found them for around 12 bucks at B&H.

Last edited by Beowulf (2007-07-19 9:32 pm)

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#10 2007-07-19 9:44 pm

keprydak
is a morning person
From: Texas
Registered: 2004-08-01
Posts: 534
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Re: Irresponsible friend

A friend of mine did a similar thing - I lent her my (very expensive) dog kennel while she was crate-training her dog.

The kennel got taken to her home for a while and left out in the sun. The frame (the cheap part) is okay still - the pan is warped all to hell and will never fit back in the slot it goes in.

I have asked her to replace it several times. It's a $60 pan... My plan is to just buy one for the kennel and when it comes time to pay utilities again I'll dock it from what I owe her for electricity and rent.

When people mess up your stuff, whether they are friends or not, it is my opinion that they are fully responsible for returning it to you in a condition on par with how the item was lent out or in a better state.


"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole." - Roger Caras

"No act of kindness is ever wasted." - Aesop

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#11 2007-07-19 10:02 pm

Beowulf
Member
From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

keprydak wrote:

A friend of mine did a similar thing - I lent her my (very expensive) dog kennel while she was crate-training her dog.

The kennel got taken to her home for a while and left out in the sun. The frame (the cheap part) is okay still - the pan is warped all to hell and will never fit back in the slot it goes in.

I have asked her to replace it several times. It's a $60 pan... My plan is to just buy one for the kennel and when it comes time to pay utilities again I'll dock it from what I owe her for electricity and rent.

When people mess up your stuff, whether they are friends or not, it is my opinion that they are fully responsible for returning it to you in a condition on par with how the item was lent out or in a better state.

I agree, it's just unfortunate as my forcing him to pay up will be detrimental to our friendship. But if that mattered, I guess I wouldn't have to be dealing with this in the first place.

shrug

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#12 2007-07-20 12:11 am

KingFred
is enjoying his status as
Royal Wombat
Registered: 2002-05-09
Posts: 7541

Re: Irresponsible friend

Beowulf wrote:

I agree, it's just unfortunate as my forcing him to pay up will be detrimental to our friendship. But if that mattered, I guess I wouldn't have to be dealing with this in the first place.

shrug

It obviously doesn't matter to him. Screwing up a friendship over $6 is pretty crappy of him.



It should be worth at least $20.

Get the camera back; if he's that irresponsible about a simple lens cap, I wouldn't trust him with the camera.


Exploring the intertubes

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#13 2007-07-20 1:10 am

D'Eyncourt
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Registered: 2001-12-27
Posts: 9001
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Yes, you are a bad friend...to the guy who loaned you that camera.

Your other "friend" presumably is aware of the value of that camera and its parts (and the cost for replacements). That he is unwilling to protect it correctly at your specific request shows negligence on his part and demonstrates how good a friend he is. Consider this: if for some reason the guy who loaned you the camera asked for it back, your "friend" is more than willing to have you look bad by having to return it without the lens cap, maybe a scratched lens and/or other damage.

Some people will walk all over you if you give them the chance. Get the camera back.


BOYCOTT SONY

"In fact, the polygraph looks for spikes in blood pressure, heart rate, respiration and perspiration. In other words, you can’t tell a lie from the sex act."--Robert L. Park, What's New for January 15, 2010

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#14 2007-07-20 3:04 am

jkahless
Member
From: Right in front of you.
Registered: 2002-01-05
Posts: 10146

Re: Irresponsible friend

There is a very simple rule with lending things to friends.  Never lend something you'll care about if you don't get it back unless you can trust them to give it back %100.


http://folding.extremeoverclocking.com/sigs/sigimage.php?u=37350

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#15 2007-07-20 6:40 am

davic3
Mac Warrior
From: the place I just left
Registered: 2003-12-01
Posts: 1198

Re: Irresponsible friend

jkahless wrote:

There is a very simple rule with lending things to friends.  Never lend something you'll care about if you don't get it back unless you can trust them to give it back %100.

Well said
I would, at this point just get the camera back before something worse happens


"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

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#16 2007-07-20 7:25 am

jeff-o
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From: Waterloo, Ontario
Registered: 1999-04-10
Posts: 10020
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Re: Irresponsible friend

You should have taken something of his for collateral.

It's the Friendly thing to do!

And yeah - go back and get the camera NOW.  If he can't be bothered to replace a lost lens cap, who knows how the camera was abused in other ways?


"I'd rather be told, 'Have a nice day.' by someone who doesn't mean it, than 'F*** you!' by someone who does." - Lewis Black

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#17 2007-07-20 7:42 am

Beowulf
Member
From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Thanks guys (and gals), I appreciate the advice. It's just unfortunate that he brought things to this point. (In hindsight, I shouldn't have lent him the camera).

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#18 2007-07-20 8:18 am

StaticAge
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From: Crouching in your pea patch
Registered: 2002-08-28
Posts: 7213
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Communication seems to have been lost at so many different points here. I agree that you should maybe not have given it to him, and you cant trust him with it anymore and should get it back. But, at the same time, you really should have impressed the fact onto him at some point that this was important to you that he buy that lens cap. He didnt pick up on your suggestion and he didnt even get it when you gave him money, which I think most people would have, but when he didnt you should have told him how you felt. That way, when you take the camera back, you dont come across as a "bad friend" because it comes as the natural step after he didnt pay attention things which you told him were important.


"Live with your head in the lion's mouth. I want you to overcome 'em with yeses, undermine 'em with grins, agree 'em to death and destruction, let 'em swoller you till they vomit or bust wide open." -Ralph Ellison

"Overpower, overcome" -Cro-Mags

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#19 2007-07-20 10:03 am

Beowulf
Member
From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
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Re: Irresponsible friend

We had a pretty lengthy discussion (if you can call it that) about why he had to get it. He insisted it wasn't a big deal, and I kept telling him that I'm responsible for the safety of the camera. Obviously he didn't get it.

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#20 2007-07-20 10:08 am

StaticAge
Fearless Vampire Killer
From: Crouching in your pea patch
Registered: 2002-08-28
Posts: 7213
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Re: Irresponsible friend

Well, then dont feel bad. He knows exactly why you are taking it back and how you feel.


"Live with your head in the lion's mouth. I want you to overcome 'em with yeses, undermine 'em with grins, agree 'em to death and destruction, let 'em swoller you till they vomit or bust wide open." -Ralph Ellison

"Overpower, overcome" -Cro-Mags

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#21 2007-07-20 10:32 am

justine
Elitist Beer Lover
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From: Sac'to
Registered: 1999-12-23
Posts: 28812
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Re: Irresponsible friend

So, did you get the camera back or not?

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#22 2007-07-20 12:08 pm

resedit
Chicken Little
Royal Wombat
From: /dev/null
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Posts: 51631
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Re: Irresponsible friend

There are generic lens caps that work just as well as the OEM and are much cheaper. Also - you can get lens caps for free by going to any tourist place (IE a zoo) and telling them you lost one. They will have tons of them, no name and OEM.

eBay is another place to get OEM lens caps cheaply.
Or try Adorama - Canon lens caps are cheap there, and should work fine on a Nikon.


In the wind, we hear their laughter
In the rain, we see their tears
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat -- U2

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#23 2007-07-20 4:17 pm

C. Ives
We're All Mad Here
From: Wonderland
Registered: 2001-03-05
Posts: 2070

Re: Irresponsible friend

Neither a borrower nor lender be.

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#24 2007-07-20 4:57 pm

user
Your plastic pal who's fun to be with
From: I'm not getting you down, am I
Registered: 2001-10-15
Posts: 16468

Re: Irresponsible friend

Guess a lot of people are going to have to forget about houses, cars and college, then.

and careers in banking.....

Last edited by user (2007-07-20 4:58 pm)


Aw, he's no fun, he fell right over.

Unless you become as little children, there's no way you will believe this crap.

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#25 2007-07-20 4:58 pm

Beowulf
Member
From: NYC and Baltimore
Registered: 2004-07-27
Posts: 1259
Website

Re: Irresponsible friend

justine wrote:

So, did you get the camera back or not?

Suddenly, my 'friend' is harder to get in touch with. I'll update when I do get in touch with him.

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