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#1 2009-09-02 2:14 am
A success story
Almost 18 years ago, my mother took in a 15 year old foster child and her daughter.
The 15 year old had been in and out of foster homes most of her life and had either been kicked out of or run away from all of them. She stayed with my parents over a year, the longest she had ever been with any foster parent, and then left her baby and ran away.
We looked for her, even contacting what we believed to be her former pimp, drove around all the places where she use to hang out, but never found her, and social services never did either.
After over a year had passed with no contact, her daughter was adopted by a well to do family, closed adoption.
That girl recently contacted my mother again. She is in her 30s now and has landed on her feet, has a stable job and is married with two children. She apologized to my mother for the "smurf she put her through" and apologized for running away. She was looking for contact with her daughter, who will soon be 18.
My mother knew the last name of the family who adopted her and found her on facebook. The daughter has been wanting to be re-connected with her birth mother as well, her adoptive parents said when she was 18 she could petition the court to have the records opened.
On her 18th birthday (very very soon) so that no laws are violated, my mother is going to put them back in contact with each other.
Most cases involving a runaway teen don't work out so nicely, but she landed on her on feet and actually got everything together, and now a reunion is going to take place.
This is the kind of thing that really brightens my day.
Last edited by resedit (2009-09-02 2:16 am)
In her right hand Jenny held the Bible of her mother
Jenny had a pistol in the other
-- Steve Taylor
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#3 2009-09-02 8:55 am
- Robert B.
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- From: The pit of despair
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Re: A success story
that is good news.
"Evil will always triumph because Good is dumb."
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#6 2009-09-03 8:41 am
- Imperial
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Re: A success story
That's cool Res, hope things work out well for all involved. Stories like that give those of us who have adopted foster children hope, because sometimes I wonder if it'll ever work out.
Never Pick Up A Minja.
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#7 2009-09-03 4:57 pm
- D'Eyncourt
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Re: A success story
Nice story, resedit (and, no, there is NO sarcasm meant or implied here--I know that our online relationship here hasn't been the best here so I want to be clear on this).
I do wonder about the legal problems involved. If your mother knows that both the child and her birth mother want to contact the other, then I don't see why there should be any problem for your mother to provide the contact information now before the child's 18th birthday. On the other hand, if your mother is waiting until after that birthday to "be legal," then perhaps she should let the legal wheels grind through their processes and have the child go through the trouble--and, yes, the expense--of getting her records opened via court petition rather than intervening herself.
It does seem to be one of those messy problems that is unanswerable on fora like this. I am not a lawyer so I can comment on this problem, but on the other hand had I been a lawyer I might be legally bound NOT to comment on this. It seems silly, but it may be that resedit's mother should consult a lawyer before acting here.
BOYCOTT SONY
"I think the question now is not whether you went to Vietnam or whether you didn't, whether you fought in the war or fought against the war. I think the only question is whether we can find a president smart enough never to make a mistake like that again"--Molly Ivins, way back in 1992
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#8 2009-09-03 5:04 pm
Re: A success story
The adoption was closed.
I think the legal issue was divulging the whereabouts of a minor to her birth mother without consent of the court or legal guardians.
Since she is now 18, the consent of legal guardians is no longer necessary, she is a legal adult and may consent herself.
In her right hand Jenny held the Bible of her mother
Jenny had a pistol in the other
-- Steve Taylor
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#9 2009-10-09 10:29 am
Re: A success story
Update - It's a very small world!
her best friends little brother is her biological little brothers best friend.
They had met before and knew each other, though didn't know each other well.
In her right hand Jenny held the Bible of her mother
Jenny had a pistol in the other
-- Steve Taylor
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#10 2009-10-09 12:03 pm
Re: A success story
resedit wrote:
her best friend's little brother is her biological little brothers best friend.
Isn't that like, a double-negative or something?
So it works out to her little friend being her best brother or some such?
Why you wanna make my train hurt with these tongue-twisters?
"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."
--Steve Jobs
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#11 2009-10-09 12:10 pm
Re: A success story
Yeah - they she went to different high school than her little brother but somehow her best friend and her biological brother's best friend just happened to be syblings.
That's the kind of thing that is suppose to only happen on cheesy prime time television.
-=-
I don't know any details of the reunion (and not really my business) other than it went well enough that mother and daughter have been having lunch together once a week since meeting.
In her right hand Jenny held the Bible of her mother
Jenny had a pistol in the other
-- Steve Taylor
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#12 2009-10-09 12:37 pm
Re: A success story
That coincidence is odd enough that I could see it making headlines on the various Internet news sources if you were to submit it to the right journalist.
"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."
--Steve Jobs
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#13 2009-10-09 4:27 pm
Re: A success story
Pretty cool story, res.
"Live with your head in the lion's mouth. I want you to overcome 'em with yeses, undermine 'em with grins, agree 'em to death and destruction, let 'em swoller you till they vomit or bust wide open." -Ralph Ellison
"Overpower, overcome" -Cro-Mags
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#14 2009-10-09 10:33 pm
Re: A success story
Bren wrote:
resedit wrote:
her best friend's little brother is her biological little brothers best friend.
Isn't that like, a double-negative or something?
So it works out to her little friend being her best brother or some such?
Nah, just an interesting palindromic relationship.
There's what you love to do, and then there's what you get paid to do. Those two things are often different.
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