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#1 2009-11-07 1:13 pm
- Pariah
- James Carville Fan..
- From: Belly Of The Beast, Oklahoma!
- Registered: 2001-05-24
- Posts: 18394
Gonna be a grand dad......
My life is complicated.
I have been married 2 times but the only woman I have had a child by I was never married to. To make it all the more complicated she had a daughter already who I am not in any bio way a dad to.
But I love her as if I were her dad, even tho I and her mom broke up 15 years ago. There is something about changing diapers...
My bio daughter is doing great and lets just skip her for the moment.
I fell in love with Alexis before I ever fell for her mom, looking back I honestly can't say I ever really loved her mom in the forever way way we think of love, but I loved that little girl from first sight. In my mind and heart she is every bit as much mine as her sister, my bio daughter, is.
Something about changing diapers and rocking to sleep deep into the night.
a bit less than a year ago Alexis let me know she had joined the Navy which surprised but pleased me. I admired that she was willing to make such a bold move.
Just a couple of hours ago I found out she was preg by a guy she says she is in love with....
Her step dad, the guy who her mom married after we broke up told me. A good guy.
I talked to Alexis after I found out. After I had had time to let the news settle in a bit.
I had to wait because I was so disappointed. Then I thought: Who the smurf am I to be disappointed in her?
Did I not do the same thing?
Yes, in fact I did.
So I got her phone number and called her after asking a few pointed questions about her man I just said this:
Baby girl, I love you as if you were my own and if you are good I am good.
The thing is that is the simple truth.
As long as she is mindfully following a track she can count on me to be there.
But I am disappointed, not so much in her, because she believes she has a good man and he ver well might be as good as she says. I am disappointed because I am disappointing in myself.
I had hoped I might spare her my "mistakes" that made my life so complicated. But it is the curse of those of us who are older.
We just do not have the power to keep the ones we love from repeating our mistakes.
So I promised her a promise I know I can deliver on. I will just keep on loving her no matter what.
She is a woman now, making her way and I am her Dad, for good or ill.
"and it's not surprising that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."
Barack Obama
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#2 2009-11-07 1:33 pm
- sturner
- Royal High Poobah
- Moderator
- From: Carrollton, TX USA
- Registered: 2000-01-31
- Posts: 13767
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
That, my friend, is all you can do. And you are doing it very well.
I'm not dead yet.
There are 3 types of people, those who can count and those who can't.
"There are few things graven in stone, excepting your date of death."
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#3 2009-11-07 4:26 pm
- dv
- Negusa Negest
- Moderator
- From: Minneapolis, MN
- Registered: 1999-08-30
- Posts: 18078
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
And congratulations! 
(I mean, we all make mistakes, but you can't hold it against the baby.)
"Now commences the process of cutting off the head, which generally takes from an hour to an hour and a half by an expert workman with a sharp blade." -Reuben Delano, Wanderings and Adventures
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#4 2009-11-07 4:56 pm
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
Congrats, Par!
"Live with your head in the lion's mouth. I want you to overcome 'em with yeses, undermine 'em with grins, agree 'em to death and destruction, let 'em swoller you till they vomit or bust wide open." -Ralph Ellison
"Overpower, overcome" -Cro-Mags
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#6 2009-11-08 9:20 am
- mahakali
- anti-razor
- From: easter egg
- Registered: 2002-11-06
- Posts: 5583
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
Congrats, Pariah . Having a kid doesn't always complicate someone's life. Hope she'll be a good parent like you. 
1. Instill fear.
2. ???????? (use your imagination)
3. Profit!
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#7 2009-11-08 10:23 am
- user
- Your plastic pal who's fun to be with
- From: I'm not getting you down, am I
- Registered: 2001-10-15
- Posts: 16016
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
Of course, a grandparent's prerogative is to spoil the kid.
So get the candy ready.
Aw, he's no fun, he fell right over.
Unless you become as little children, there's no way you will believe this crap.
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#8 2009-11-08 11:49 am
- Pariah
- James Carville Fan..
- From: Belly Of The Beast, Oklahoma!
- Registered: 2001-05-24
- Posts: 18394
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
dv wrote:
And congratulations!
(I mean, we all make mistakes, but you can't hold it against the baby.)
Oh, I would never even think of such a thing.
I have made so many wrong turns in my life I don't feel like I have standing to stand in judgment of my girls choices. And really...who am I to assume it is a mistake?
Her man might be a great guy and she is starting her family. I guess what makes it hard is I dn't know who he is. I have not yet looked him in the eyes to assess him as a man.
But I have been thinking about this very deeply since yesterday and I think my reaction to this is based on having the reality that "my little girl" is all grown up now and making her own life come and hit me in the face.
And I am kinda sad because I had become emotionally invested in how great she was doing in the Navy. I imagined her having an exciting, world spanning career. A BIG BRIGHT FUTURE as it were. My girl, on the vanguard of technology keeping sophisticated weapons systems humming away.
She had been accepted into the program that keeps cruise missiles healthy and that had a nice aspect to it because my father had helped build the first cruise missiles. Carrying on the family tradition of making sure bombs went exactly where they ought to go.
Or something like that..
But all of that is my problem, not hers and my smurf to deal with. She will never hear it from me that I was disappointed.
"and it's not surprising that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."
Barack Obama
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#9 2009-11-08 12:03 pm
- D'Eyncourt
- OMGDICTATOR
- Registered: 2001-12-27
- Posts: 8798
- Website
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
Congratulations, Pariah!
What you wrote put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye--no, no! I just had something in my eye. 
BOYCOTT SONY
"I think the question now is not whether you went to Vietnam or whether you didn't, whether you fought in the war or fought against the war. I think the only question is whether we can find a president smart enough never to make a mistake like that again"--Molly Ivins, way back in 1992
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#10 2009-11-08 3:11 pm
- dv
- Negusa Negest
- Moderator
- From: Minneapolis, MN
- Registered: 1999-08-30
- Posts: 18078
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
Pariah wrote:
And I am kinda sad because I had become emotionally invested in how great she was doing in the Navy. I imagined her having an exciting, world spanning career. A BIG BRIGHT FUTURE as it were. My girl, on the vanguard of technology keeping sophisticated weapons systems humming away.
Well, in this day and age, I would be pretty surprised if she didn't go the working mom route.
"Now commences the process of cutting off the head, which generally takes from an hour to an hour and a half by an expert workman with a sharp blade." -Reuben Delano, Wanderings and Adventures
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#11 2009-11-08 3:23 pm
- Tallgeese
- Sternly Advising
- From: Pool Party
- Registered: 2000-10-17
- Posts: 34007
Re: Gonna be a grand dad......
It's not like there aren't a lot of single moms in the Navy. The only real hindrance is if she continues to not know how to use a condom and it keeps her from sea duty.
I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals.
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