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#1 2002-12-24 10:43 am
For all the Mac and MST3K friends out there:
For your reading pleasure:
(Just incase you forgot one of the classic episodes in the history of Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians")
(reposted from MST3K's Satellite News)
A Child's Christmas in Space by Tom Servo:
Tom: It's quiet in the cold of our own little orbit, starless and bible black. And as I look down on the big blue beam we would call home I think it so near, yet... oh, I wish on that star and I hope that in a little snow-covered house with a warm hearth and a loving family, maybe some kid is looking up tonight and wishing upon us. Oh, and how I hope sweet Santa will fly by tonight because if he does I'm gonna reach right out and hug that big guy. Oh, for the sound of hooves against the steel hull of the ship. Oh, to see the rosy face of Santa in the portal offering me a Coke and a smile... (gradually gets more and more upset and hysterical) ...of course, his cheeks would be rosy because there's a vacuum out there, I mean Santa's heart would explode! But he wouldn't feel it because the capillaries in his brain would pop like little firecrackers (Joel begins to try to calm him down) due to the blood boiling away in his face like pudding in a copper...OH THE HUMANITY!! (Now both Joel and Crow are trying to calm him down.) And his jolly old belly would start bubbling like a roasted marshmallow, eyes bulging and popping out... AND THE REINDEER--OH THE REINDEER!!!--keep floating like holiday floats and in turn exploding in a hail of blood and entrails! Prancer: BOOM! Dancer: BOOM!
Joel: HEY!
Crow: Tom!
Joel: Tom take it easy, Santa's gonna be okay, buddy.
Tom: You sure?
Joel: Yeah, give him a little credit, okay?
Tom: Phew, what a relief!
Merry Christmas!!
-Mike
P.S. If Servo and the 'guys were still making new experiments, I'm sure he'd be using Jaguar!
Push the button, Frank.
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