Forums | MacLife

"your mom"
-unknown

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Gloria Steinem

That crap drives me up the wall.

Didn't Gloria just get married a few years ago?

Good one Slarty. What else from you!

OK, here's two - both from Oscar Wilde:-
1. In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

2. In America the young are always ready to give those who are older than themselves the benefit of their inexperience.


Nothing changes, does it?

"would you rather booboo a rockstar or a plumber?"

-Gene Simmons

"your mom"
-unknown

thats my favorite

"It was as IF you fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you"

"Splitting the atom is like trying to shoot a gnat in the Albert Hall at night and using ten million rounds of ammunition on the off chance of getting it. That should convince you that the atom will always be a sink of energy and never a reservoir of energy"

-Ernest Rutheford


"If they find out they are going to hit you, and hit you hard"

"Art! Is that even a subject?!"

-Duncan Shaw

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"

-Benjamin Franklin

.

Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war
in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor,
for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword.
It both emboldens the blood,
just as it narrows the mind.
--Julius Caesar

Not this one again.... Patently false.

"Kenneth, what is the frequency?"
William Tager

"If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rat trap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him."

"I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky."  Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh."

"Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have."

"Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form "spokes."  Happiness is when he stops."

"When you go for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges."

"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Mankind.  Basically, it's made up of two separate words---"mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind"

"The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe.  But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it.  Then he'll stand up and go, "Hey, I'm Vine Man.""

"I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching."


Deep thoughts by Jack Handey

Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.
--Harry S. Truman

So says the man who fired General Douglas MacArthur because of a policy disagreement.

"I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!"
Barry Goldwater

Mr. Watson--come here--I want to see you.