Forums | MacLife

Mars_Attacks · 2003-01-30 9:05 am

The only time you can have too much fuel is when you are on fire.

Learn from other's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make them all yourself.

The three most useless things when flying are: the altitude above you, the runway behind you and the fuel you forgot to put in the tanks.

Weather forecasts are just horoscopes with numbers.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it is on the outside, it's worse.

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle. (JFK, Jr. anyone?)

Keep looking around, there's always something you've missed.

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in your flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

Stay out of the clouds, that silver lining everyone keeps talking about is another aircraft heading in your direction.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot smurfs up, the pilot dies.
If the air traffic controller smurfs up, the pilot dies.

The propellor is a big fan on the front of the plane.
Turn it off to watch the pilot sweat.

GPS a device for getting you to places that don't sell batteries for it.

registered_user · 2003-01-30 9:13 am

I'd send that to my pilot friend, but something tells me that he's probably already heard them all. Good stuff. And practical too. I like the flashlight and GPS ones best.

lol

petikas · 2003-01-30 10:41 am

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot smurfs up, the pilot dies.
If the air traffic controller smurfs up, the pilot dies.

Not if the plane is crashed on the control tower.

milenko11 · 2003-01-30 10:49 am

thanks for the info but i'm not sure why you told us. neutral

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously

JD MacMan · 2003-01-30 1:42 pm

Weather forecasts are just horoscopes with numbers.

big_smile
A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one where you can reuse the plane.

Tallgeese · 2003-01-30 1:51 pm

Planes leaving should equal planes arriving

pottymouth · 2003-01-30 1:52 pm

I'd send that to my pilot friend, but something tells me that he's probably already heard them all. Good stuff. And practical too. I like the flashlight and GPS ones best.

Reminds me of this.

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously

Pull back on the joystick to go down and push forward to go up. Or is it the other way around? Well, it doesn't really matter I guess.

K.C. Lofty · 2003-01-30 1:55 pm

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously

Bend over, grab your ankles, and kiss your ass goodbye!!!! eek

Slarty · 2003-01-30 1:56 pm

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously

Grab your ankles and kiss your ass goodbye.

[edit] Damn you, KC!!!!!

Tallgeese · 2003-01-30 2:11 pm

thanks for the info but i'm not sure why you told us.

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously

Find out if there's someone competent on board.

K.C. Lofty · 2003-01-30 2:17 pm

Damn you, KC!!!!!

Considering myself Damned, Sir! evil

Mars_Attacks · 2003-01-30 2:30 pm

thanks for the info but i'm not sure why you told us.

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously

Tune the transponder to 7700.
Tune the radio to 125.50 and call "mayday".

The airspeed indicator should stay in the green. Adjust speed by pulling back or foreward on the yoke. BTW foreward is down VERY BAD IDEA.
The pedals steer the nose and work the brakes too. Turning the yoke leans the wings in that direction.

To land you have get to 1000 feet above the ground, depending where you are the indicator is going to indicat above sea level and WILL be different from above ground level. The tower will give you a pattern altitude for AGL. Once you see the runway, the throttle is pulled to the edge of the green line on the tachometer. hold the yoke to keep the nose from dropping, keep it LEVEL. When the airspeed indicator reached the WHITE line push the flap lever to the first notch. THe plane will slow down and DO NOT allow the nose up at this point. Allow the nose down to allow the plane to descend at 500-600 fpm on the rate of climb indicator, now the yoke controlls your airspeed. DO NOT let it out of the green or out of the white.

Wyou get to the runway, cut the throttle anf keep the plane just in the green and allow it to sink SLOWLY to about 5 feet above the runway and start SLOWLY pulling back on the yoke as it settles. A horn will sound until the wheels touch and don't stop pulling back until the speed indicator is in the white. Push foreward on both pedals unti the plane stops.

Beat your dead friend to death for scaring the smurf out of you like that.

Kal El 666 · 2003-01-30 7:06 pm

Don't forget the four forces of flight: Stall, Spin, Crash, Burn! And the worst type of cloud formation is Cumulo Granite (at least in NH, where I started flying). Also, remember that ATC's are bitter because they couldn't make it as pilots.

Roc Kit · 2003-01-30 8:46 pm

I'd send that to my pilot friend, but something tells me that he's probably already heard them all. Good stuff. And practical too. I like the flashlight and GPS ones best.

Reminds me of this.

Do you have any advice on what to do if the pilot somehow dies and I would have to take over the plane? seriously
Pull back on the joystick to go down and push forward to go up. Or is it the other way around? Well, it doesn't really matter I guess.

Gosh, that Onion article was funny! Why didn't you just copy and paste it so we could all have enjoyed it without having to actually click the link?

wschart · 2003-01-31 8:30 am

A few years ago, there were a couple of engineers who were working on a power plant on the Navajo Reservation in Northern Arizona. They would come out to Flagstaff for a while; one of them was a private pilot and they would fly to the plant from Flag. The second guy wan't a pilot, however, the pilot did show him how to handle the controls some while flying back and forth.

Then it happened, one night one the way back to Flag, the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The other guy was able to fly back to the airport, get the runway lights turned on and managed a good landing: AFAIR, he did run off the runway but walked away and the plane was usable after some work.

So, go out and buy a flight sim and practice: never know when it will come in handy!

Mars_Attacks · 2003-01-31 9:10 am

I'm trying to teach my wife how to get the plane down to pattern altitude and set up an approach.

I have her use the airspeed indicator and rate of climb indicator only to keep the pressure on her down.

Stop the Robots · 2003-01-31 9:35 pm

Push down and the houses get bigger, pull back and the houses get smaller, unless you keep pulling then they start to get bigger again.

Forums | MacLife

#1 2003-01-30 9:05 am

Wisdom for pilots

#2 2003-01-30 9:13 am

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#3 2003-01-30 10:41 am

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#4 2003-01-30 10:49 am

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#5 2003-01-30 1:42 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#6 2003-01-30 1:51 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#7 2003-01-30 1:52 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#8 2003-01-30 1:55 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#9 2003-01-30 1:56 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#10 2003-01-30 2:11 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#11 2003-01-30 2:17 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#12 2003-01-30 2:30 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#13 2003-01-30 7:06 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#14 2003-01-30 8:46 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#15 2003-01-31 8:30 am

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#16 2003-01-31 9:10 am

Re: Wisdom for pilots

#17 2003-01-31 9:35 pm

Re: Wisdom for pilots

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