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Remember the show, Highlander? About immortals who tracked each other down to kill each other, and the only way an immortal could be killed was to be beheaded? I can't accept that.

There must be other ways to kill an immortal (originally posted on my site).

Nuke 'Em?

So, if an immortal was, oh, say strapped to a nuke--not a big nuke mind you, just a measely B-57 or something similar--and say someone flew that nuke out somewhere in the desert, and dropped it, and it exploded, and everything for 10 miles was vaporized...

Would that kill him?

Fry 'Em?

Okay, okay, what if we tied him spread eagle to the exhaust of an engine on the Space Shuttle, and we, oh, maybe flipped that launch switch, and thousands of pounds of fuel mixed with oxygen and shot out of that engine cone like a fireball from hell, and his ropes were fireproof so he couldn't get away...

Would that kill him?

Crush 'Em? (EDITED)

Say it's in the future, and our immortal friend is now an astronaut who is being sent on a "very special" mission to some planet with gravity a thousand times stronger than Earth's, you know, a planet that is bigger than God, and he is bound and gagged and strapped into his seat with titanium chains and is lounging leisurely in a steel straightjacket, and the ship reaches this planet and spirals down into the atmosphere straight towards the core as the planet's gravity crushes the ship into molecules...

Would that kill him?

Crush 'Em? Part 2

Okay, so maybe a planet's gravity isn't quite enough to do him in. What about Cygnus X-1? You know that black hole thingy made famous by the band Rush, where supposedly a teapoon of black hole weighs more than God cause it's so dense, see, so here's our immortal friend in a spaceship again, hurtling towards the constellation of Cygnus, and he's got a lot of time to think about this cause even at the speed of light, it'd take a few years to get there, but as he gets closer and closer, this star crusher starts tugging playfully on the ship, and starts to stretch it out thinner than a human hair, turning it into pure energy...

Would that kill him?

Rip Him Apart?

What if we were at the Dayton Air Show in July, and our immortal friend was there for some reason, so one of the main attractions is the Blue Angels, but this is a special Blue Angels appearance, cause they're there for a special purpose where our immortal is spread eagle tied to 4 of the blue Angels, and they're facing away from each other on this weird big square runway, and that announcer guy turns on the microphone, clears his throat, says "check" and then yells "GO!" and all 4 jets take off in different directions, taking a part of the immortal with them (one of them even has a rope on the immortal's head)...

Would that kill him?

Smash 'Em? (Which is sort of like crush 'em but different)

So you have these 2 trains loaded down with lead weights to capacity see, and they're on the same track, which normally they wouldn't be, but for this one time, someone paid both of the conductors big wads of cash, and they agreed to put the trains on the same tracks, so anyway, our friendly immortal is strapped to the front of one of them. They back up about 5 miles, pour on the steam to full power and collide head on...

Would that kill him?

Feed 'Em To Starving Lions?

Pretend we have a 100 starving lions who are so desperate for food, they've starting eating dirt, but then one day, we fly in over them with our immortal in a burlap bag with just his head sticking out and a digital recording playing "I hate lions. Lions are so stupid" over and over in lionspeak, so they get really pissed, spit out the dirt, and have an immortal filled burlap eclair, but just to make sure there's not an immortal heart still beating in there somewhere, we release thousands of starving hyenas on top of the lions...

Would that kill him?

Feel free to post others.

Bragg

Last edited by ivanjs (2005-05-27 10:26 pm)