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#1 2009-07-21 5:16 am

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

A friend of mine has a free subscription to that trash. She showed me the issue that arrived in today's mail, and we were both stunned to see that the cover of the magazine is now a full-page advertisement! Complete with the discrete, little "advertisement" disclaimer in fine print at the top of the page so you don't get confused and mistake the ad for unbiased editorial content.

Oh, Maxim. I pray that this is a sign you've fallen on hard times and will soon be out of business.

Open the magazine, and you discover that the "real" cover is hiding inside, but as far as I'm concerned, this does not in any way redeem this already irredeemable garbage.

turn a few pages and you find such enlightening things as a page of "hometown hotties," and an article on how to have a one-night stand with today's modern, on-the-prowl woman.

The article assures you that if a woman is alone in a bar after midnight on a Tuesday, she is definitely looking to have a one-night-stand. Remember this for your upcoming rape trial: "But Maxim told me she was askin' for it!"

Continue to turn pages, and you'll soon find an ad for, and I'm not making this up, bubblegum flavored vodka.

"Who would want to drink bubblegum flavored vodka?" My friend wondered.

To which I replied,

"Children!"


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#2 2009-07-21 9:24 am

Pithecanthropus
Roast Master
From: St. Cloud, MN
Registered: 2002-12-30
Posts: 4452
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Bren wrote:

"Who would want to drink bubblegum flavored vodka?" My friend wondered.

To which I replied,

"Children!"

lol

And college girls.


Grandfatherly advice:  You can drink 'em pretty, but you can't drink 'em smart.

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#3 2009-07-21 9:53 am

Aaron_R
Apple Key - R.I.P.
From: Oshkosh, Wisconsin, USA
Registered: 2004-01-16
Posts: 546
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

I don't think it's particularly Maxims fault, it's their target audiences fault. I've heard it before by others that America is getting dumber and this is evidence towards that, as it seems each coming generation of adolescents gets shallower.


MacBook Pro 17|2.66 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo|4 GB 1067 MHz DDR3|320 HD @ 7200 RPM|NVIDIA GeForce 9600 M GT 512 MB

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#4 2009-07-21 10:00 am

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Damn that tv. Something has to explain why finding a deep and sentimental girl has been hard for me.

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#5 2009-07-21 10:24 am

mrreet2001
Member
From: NW Ohio
Registered: 2005-05-25
Posts: 4334
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

gd wrote:

Damn that tv. Something has to explain why finding a deep and sentimental girl has been hard for me.

because your 15?

and well women your age are ... well ... girls ... and everyone knows that....

... girls just want to have fu-ah-un
Oh girls just want to have
That's all they really want
some fun


2.66Ghz QuadCore-Nehalem w/24"LED CD ---2.2Ghz BlackMB---15" 2.4Ghz MBP(work)
Dual 2.3Ghz G5 (4G Ram, 2x 250G HD)(10.5 server)--- 400Mhz G4 PM (10.4 Server)
1.5GHz Powerbook---1.6Ghz G5 iMac
"So he fels down in a poisoning gas."

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#6 2009-07-21 11:01 am

user
Your plastic pal who's fun to be with
From: I'm not getting you down, am I
Registered: 2001-10-15
Posts: 16031

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

gd's been angling for Stiffler's mom.


Aw, he's no fun, he fell right over.

Unless you become as little children, there's no way you will believe this crap.

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#7 2009-07-21 11:15 am

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

User, there is no way I am going to look for a woman as that.

How do I know you haven't been fishing for Stifler's mom?

lol

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#8 2009-07-21 11:17 am

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

All I want to have is er fun. I just don't like shallow girls. It is so hard to find a beautiful girl my age that is not a Barbie.

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#9 2009-07-21 11:27 am

Tallgeese
Sternly Advising
From: Pool Party
Registered: 2000-10-17
Posts: 34096

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Maybe the problem is you.


I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals.

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#10 2009-07-21 11:55 am

mrreet2001
Member
From: NW Ohio
Registered: 2005-05-25
Posts: 4334
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Tallgeese wrote:

Maybe the problem is you.

nah ... I would venture to say that most 15 year old girls are whack.


2.66Ghz QuadCore-Nehalem w/24"LED CD ---2.2Ghz BlackMB---15" 2.4Ghz MBP(work)
Dual 2.3Ghz G5 (4G Ram, 2x 250G HD)(10.5 server)--- 400Mhz G4 PM (10.4 Server)
1.5GHz Powerbook---1.6Ghz G5 iMac
"So he fels down in a poisoning gas."

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#11 2009-07-21 1:00 pm

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Defendant: gd
Attorney in law: mrreet2001

Prosecutor: Tallgeese

Who wants to be judge?

Last edited by gd (2009-07-21 1:01 pm)

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#12 2009-07-21 1:27 pm

Tallgeese
Sternly Advising
From: Pool Party
Registered: 2000-10-17
Posts: 34096

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

mrreet2001 wrote:

Tallgeese wrote:

Maybe the problem is you.

nah ... I would venture to say that most 15 year old girls are whack.

So are most 15 year old boys.


I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals.

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#13 2009-07-21 3:32 pm

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

In this matter of The People vs. Gd, the Honorable Justice Bren...


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#14 2009-07-21 3:45 pm

justine
Elitist Beer Lover
Moderator
From: Sac'to
Registered: 1999-12-23
Posts: 28763
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Why do you care what a magazine you don't read does or doesn't do?

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#15 2009-07-21 5:44 pm

mrreet2001
Member
From: NW Ohio
Registered: 2005-05-25
Posts: 4334
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Better question .. Why does Bren care about half the stuff he does. Or better yet why do you care what Bren cares about? All I know is that Bren sees the world through much different eyes and that makes him interesting. He brings to our attention things we wouldn't necessarily think about.

Why does res care about reptiles and amphibians. Why do you care about ac/dc. shrug

Last edited by mrreet2001 (2009-07-21 6:02 pm)


2.66Ghz QuadCore-Nehalem w/24"LED CD ---2.2Ghz BlackMB---15" 2.4Ghz MBP(work)
Dual 2.3Ghz G5 (4G Ram, 2x 250G HD)(10.5 server)--- 400Mhz G4 PM (10.4 Server)
1.5GHz Powerbook---1.6Ghz G5 iMac
"So he fels down in a poisoning gas."

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#16 2009-07-21 5:57 pm

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Thank you, Mr. Reet! Justine, in answer to your question, I care about what Maxim does because, as much as I hate to admit it, I care about humanity. Maxim is bad for human society, because it encourages men to behave badly.


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#17 2009-07-21 6:08 pm

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Bren wrote:

In this matter of The People vs. Gd, the Honorable Justice Bren...

Oh, wait...

There's a possible conflict of interest, owing to the fact that Gd is currently dating my mom, so I have to recuse myself. Sorry 'bout that.


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#18 2009-07-21 7:47 pm

justine
Elitist Beer Lover
Moderator
From: Sac'to
Registered: 1999-12-23
Posts: 28763
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Bren wrote:

Thank you, Mr. Reet! Justine, in answer to your question, I care about what Maxim does because, as much as I hate to admit it, I care about humanity. Maxim is bad for human society, because it encourages men to behave badly.

roll

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#19 2009-07-21 8:11 pm

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

I don't understand what that particular Max smiley is trying to convey in this case. Perhaps I should be more specific? To wit, Maxim encourages men to have very ignorant, un-evolved attitudes toward women. In so doing, it fosters a climate and culture which are injurious to women and girls in particular, and by extension, to human beings in general.

For that matter, Maxim fosters a generally pig-headed, juvenile, idiotic approach to life in general. Every other article seems to be something along the lines of "How to trick a girl into sleeping with you," or "How to talk your way into a nightclub for free without having to wait on line" and crap like that. Those of us who are worthy of getting into somebody's pants or a nightclub don't need to employ tricks, and we're already on the guest list.

Maxim is to print media what gangsta rap is to music.


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#20 2009-07-21 11:41 pm

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Bren wrote:

There's a possible conflict of interest, owing to the fact that Gd is currently dating my mom, so I have to recuse myself. Sorry 'bout that.

Son, please, what your mother and I do is none of your busyness. Now go run along to your room right now.

sneaky

You will have some explaning to do later.

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#21 2009-07-21 11:42 pm

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Explain why you didn't show up for the wedding.

You should really be woried about what she does to you.

Last edited by gd (2009-07-21 11:45 pm)

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#22 2009-07-21 11:56 pm

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Wedding?

Damn it, yet again my family conspires to prevent me from showing up on an important occasion! Sometimes they just give me the wrong address, but this time, I wasn't even informed.

So, Gd, is this a bad time to hit you up for my allowance?

You may need to postpone that VW purchase in order to support me in the manner to which I've grown accustomed.


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#23 2009-07-21 11:59 pm

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

For all I care you could be living on the streets. Don't push your luck with me, boy.

Last edited by gd (2009-07-22 12:00 am)

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#24 2009-07-22 12:10 am

Bren
Member
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: 1999-06-18
Posts: 5479
Website

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Listen, I need a thousand  dollars.

It's an emergency!

I got this girl in trouble, see, and we need to get married in a hurry...


"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy."

                                            --Steve Jobs

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#25 2009-07-22 12:16 am

gd
Junior Member
Registered: 2009-04-06
Posts: 789

Re: Maxim magazine, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Son do you understand the meaning of the word grounded. No, tv, no peggle, no allowance and no Nicole.
Unless of course, we could rob a bank together; spit the winnings 70% for me and 20% for you.

Nah, let Nicole suffer from your actions.

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