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gd wrote:

I agree Dadyo. Some if not most of you are perverts.
I guess that "no" would be the worst thing that could happen.

As I said it was an accident. I was going to tickle her but she moved, I missed and touched her butt. She briefly giggled and then scolded me.

Perverts?

Is that supposed to be an insult?

I guess in some circles it still is.


Kinky: When you use a feather.

Perverted: When you use the whole chicken.

iSeamas wrote:

gd wrote:

I agree Dadyo. Some if not most of you are perverts.
I guess that "no" would be the worst thing that could happen.

As I said it was an accident. I was going to tickle her but she moved, I missed and touched her butt. She briefly giggled and then scolded me.

Perverts?

Is that supposed to be an insult?

I guess in some circles it still is.


Kinky: When you use a feather.

Perverted: When you use the whole chicken.

In some of the crowds I used to hang with, perverted was the minimum standard of acceptance. Kinky was the norm, and, well I'll leave the other extreme to the imagination...

Seriously, you don't need to touch her boobs.

Just keep staring at them. She'll tell you the score after an hour or two.

Bren wrote:

Oh Good Lord Gd, none of these dirty-minded miscreants have ever been with a woman!

What are you kidding, two of these whoremongers replying in this thread have slept with my wife! Penis size wasn't necessarily a factor but merely the gravitational pull from the size of their stones held her down like a tractor beam and she loved ever minute of it.

The trick is to let her know you're interested without making a big deal of it. You don't want her thinking you've agonized over this question. That's pressure.

And women romanticize the whole "love at first sight" bullsmurf, so if you hint that you've been pining for awhile, you're shooting that to hell.

Make your feelings known, but don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, and don't dread rejection.

And for Christ sakes don't compliment her shoes and then ask to smurf. That worked only once and she was already into him, man.

"Could I prevail upon you to join me for the community theater's production of Sweeney Todd this Saturday?" is good, because if she doesn't want to, the fact that it's on a specific date gives her a convenient "out."

Also, say nothing else about pie until the 3rd date. Especially after Sweeny Todd.

When the date actually occurs, be eager to pay for everything and hold doors open for her.

Even when she says not to. Unless you know for a fact that you're after the pants-wearing girl. But chances are if that's the case, you didn't ask her out, she asked you.

Furthermore, don't try to get into her pants on a first date. Don't even act like you're expecting a kiss on the cheek. No matter how modern you may think a girl is, it never hurts to err on the side of chivalry.

Unless of course she thinks no physical attention is a sign of "not really that into it".

Just... analyze and read the situations as they unfold. You don't have to lie about being "new to this" since you, uh, are. You can use that to crazy psychological advantage if you play the card correctly without being a pussy and apologizing all the time.

Also, spend this time to purge all 80s teen movies out of your head. None of that smurf is going to work, Ferris.

Bren wrote:

It's hard to know what a situation means while you're in it.

Unfortunately, most of your advice requires specific knowledge of the situation - or at least the girl involved. I've dated at least a few girls who would have been turned WAY off by the chivalry, for example. I've also know a few that felt if you didn't at least make a play for their pants, even if you didn't succeed, you weren't serious.

gd wrote:

I figured as much Bren. Who would have thought you would have given some great advice but anonymous does have a point.

Agreeing with Bren is a point, right

I agree with Bren and Books about the specific place/time thing.  In fact, Books summed it up pretty well on page one.  JAHOYFT, indeed.  If you get rejected, you'll feel like an ass, she'll feel a little guilty for rejecting you, but after a week or so, it'll be as if it never happened.

Telling somebody else "just act natural," or "just be yourself" is the easiest thing in the world. Actually doing so is damn-near impossible, especially when you're nervous and care about the outcome.

Bren wrote:

Telling somebody else "just act natural," or "just be yourself" is the easiest thing in the world. Actually doing so is damn-near impossible, especially when you're nervous and care about the outcome.

Bren is right. It's going to be next to impossible to act normal, especially if you have a crush on this girl - which it sounds like you do. It's high stakes poker of the heart.

I would urge you to not act psychotic, though.

I'd just like to add that after the date, you might feel a strong urge to overanalyze every little thing you said or did.  Don't.

That almost makes me want to laugh... in a sympathetic way, of course.  I'm 6.5 years older than my wife.  I really don't think 2 years makes much of a difference.  I remember, though, being deathly afraid of what her father would think.

Just talk about it as if it's no big deal.  Even talk to your mom in a friendly way about the girl and mention it in passing.

So now is when you ruin your great advice with a joke huh, Bren?
She already knows the girl from where I work. The thing with mom is that she thinks I am too young to start dating and that I have a full life ahead of me.

gd wrote:

Thanks. Next question: How do I tell my parents I am to start dating a girl and more importantly get away with the fact that she is older without having my mother panic and possibly become way to angry at me?

16 ought to be an appropriate dating age by anyone's standards.  2 years isn't a big deal, but it's a bigger deal in this case --the words 'statutory rape' come to mind...