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The best part would be his new Keynotes!!!
"Ladies and Gentleman, the President of the United States..." and out comes Jobs with a huge American Flag in the backdrop...still wearing a black turtleneck and jeans...with that slight wave that says "Its hard as hell to be this cool..."

"Well, this has been a year of innovation for the United States...and we have two US Worlds worth of news...so lets get started...(applause)..for starters I want to talk about nuclear weapons...we did some research on modern attomic devices, and found that while yields are up...there is ALOT of room..in fact, we found that a modern Tomahawk missile is good for removing a city the size of Portland, Or. But the problem we found was that to remove a larger piece of real estate would take a whole slew of them. So we have been hard at work working on something that would coordinate the effort...and we come up with THIS....iNuke. (applause) iNuke is the center of your intercontinental war. We think this is going to be HUGE. Let me show you how it works....
(sits down)

iNuke opens in less then one bounce...here I have my map payne. The Map Payne refreshes every 15 seconds using your open TCPIP session to pull information and build the map of the planet that you see here. Now, you ask "Steve, why would you need to refresh the map?" Well that is a good question. You see, we did some research, and found that nucleur war is dynamic, which is a fancy way of saying that it changes. If I have a coordinated attack with iNuke to take out Pakistan for example, Pakistan is no longer on this map 15 seconds after I incinerate it. So here, let me open a new session....Lets just blow up Canada for fun...eh? (Crowd Laughs). Now I am going to select Target, And Im going to click on Canada....now notice that it only wants to blow up Calgary...if I hold down the shift key and click on Canada....there we go, notice how all of Canada is now highlighted in red..so if I click Launch, Canada will now go the way of Bell Bottoms and the Bay City Rollers...
And that.....is iNuke.
(applause)

Now lets talk about where iNuke is pulling its data from. We did some research on communications technology and found that our current sattelites are about as reliable as a 1974 Ford Pinto...(audience laughs) so we've had a team up around the clock for about 6 months developing this...(image pops up in background) we call it iSat. (applause).
Now, let me show it to you....


As you guys can see, Jobs would be a COOL president....

What about the'one more thing'?

Thanks for all the comments...for your enjoyment..

Oh...and...strap on your seatbelts, and hide the children...there IS..just one more thing...

We polled the public because we wanted to know what YOU wanted to see from this administration. And what we found was enlightening..we found that Americans, by and large, are driven by Justice. If there is a baby in a well, Americans will sit in front of the television for hours upon hours waiting to see the baby rescued. This spark of reality driven television shows...Americans like to see their own lives on television..they can relate to them better. Again, justice is delivered.

But there was an episode that happened on September 11 of 2001. A terrorist attack that took place in New York. The individual responsible for instigating this attack was Osama Bin Ladin.

And we never found him.

As I said earlier, we found that Americans want Justice. And when I asked my Secretary of Defense Phil Schiller what his thoughts on the matter were, he said "Steve...the Americans want Osama Bin Ladin. They want Justice."

So we had a meeting. We brought in the team that was working on iNuke, and we brought in the group who launched iSat. And we created a new project...code named  "Soft Justice." Its a module for iNuke, that can track the location of human DNA from space.

We call it "Bin Hidin'" Now the best part of this product is that records the encounter with great detail from space, and creates a mpeg4 movie file out of it so you can edit the movie in iMovie, and burn a DVD of it and send it to all your friends.

Bin Hidin'.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo............................

http://216.118.66.251/~jobs4president/

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.................
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He turned it down???!?!??

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I would have voted for him...

I wonder what his PLATFORM would be! HAHAHAHA, DAMN I AM FRIGGIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Woz could be his running mate!!

Americans would never vote for a gay president, he should just go for governor of California or something.

Yeah, Steve Jobs is pretty ambiguously gay.

It always amuses me to see trolls scurry for the door like rats...forgive him Gary, he thinks the mac is "Gay" because he uses XP...and the only people that use Macs are gay artists...didn't you know that?

Oh, and as a side note...homosexuality is a curb about one inch high...can't you just get over it?

I find that most true fools always take the bait that hangs in front of them.  Whether it be an anti-gay, anti-Mac or anti-anything sentiment that they're pushing, they will always stick to it.  And that's the sickening thing.  The fact that people truly believe what they're saying is correct, and if they don't, then they still say it because they're afraid it isn't.  The unfortunate thing is, there are so many people like this that you can't escape them.  Wherever you go, they will always be there, they will always be just around the corner, they will always be lurking in the darkness, waiting for you to say something that gives them reason to respond.  You can't escape.  But, there is solace only in the fact that you know they're wrong.  It may be difficult to weather the constant, unrelenting storm of trolls, but it can be done with some determination (and a heck of a lot of pure nerves).

Whew, what a load of waffle.  btw Steve Jobs has 4 kids: Lisa, Erin, Reed and Eve. 

yur... you're so gay... hur hur... I funny.

what's your problem?! why do you shallow people have to use the word "gay" as an insult?  Welcome to the year 2003 you homophobic hillbilly.

Jobs for president? He'll probably have to find something to occupy his free time. He'll have more of that coming his way.