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heh, good.
long as yer laughing, you won't shoot her as much as some of us think she deserves it.

hope you still laughin when yer old and gray(er)

m

Roberto, pastor macman, and Debbie are right.  If the situation is actually going to change, your husband is going to have to put his foot down.  Seeing how he hasn't done so yet, he probably won't in the future either, unless you let him know just how serious you are.  And this is a serious situation.

Of course, maybe you enjoy being manipulated or just like having something to complain about.

I don't like complaining at all, but thanks anyway.  I'm done here.

I'm sorry...I had just found about 50 cigarette butts in my bathroom trash when I read that post.  I'm still unhappy about being categorized that way, though.  My MIL is the one who loves to complain, it seems to be the only thing keeping her stable.  I don't agree with separating from my husband.  That might be "good" advice generally speaking but it does not apply in my situation.  I'm going to very firmly lay down the law tonight.  I can only assume that she'll handle it the dumbass way and clue my husband in to my occasional smoking habit.  We'll see...

It's certainly my business, but she'd love to hurt me for infringing upon her "right" to smoke.  And thanks.  Luck is a good thing about now.

You're right.  I've never considered her to be family after the underhanded crap she's pulled over the years.  The first time I ever met the woman she was pounding on our apt. door telling us we needed to help her move.  When my husband was out of work for a year and things were getting dicey, I confided in her that my mother had advised me to pack up and leave. That was all I said.  I found out later that she turned around and told my husband I was going to leave him.  He dealt with that quietly for months, it really hurt him deeply.  I explained it all to him once he finally asked me about it.  I guess since her divorce was so hard on her, it's the right thing for her son to endure as well.

I've already decided that if she takes the adolescent route and "tells" on me to get some of the heat taken off of her...let's just say suicide would be in her favor.  It's not that I'm worried about it, I'm sure my husband knows and he's decided to be smart and keep it to himself.  It all goes down tonight.

(BTW, Malkin was actually noting that you don't like complaining or being manipulated. She was not saying that you do. Sarcasm is hard to detect when you're ticked, as you are at your MIL.)

Hope it all goes well tonight. Our fingers are crossed for you.

Dammit, she came home after we went to bed last night. (We went early because we're scouting out houses/land this morning) I'm sure she's thinking "Wheeee! Free smoking throughout the house!" It's pretty early now but I can hear her stirring.  I'd rather do this when my husband is asleep anyway.  Hurry up and get out here, you old hag...

I was just thinking about another thing that she does to piss me off.  I suffer from OCD and all of its resulting quirks.  I know my husband has told her this, yet she still thinks it's cute to LAUGH at me when I go on a cleaning spree.  My husband is allowed to poke fun at me because he's not serious and it lightens the situation.  MIL just wants to poke fun but not offer to help with even the most broad household tasks that have been doubled since her arrival.  "Well, I'd put the dishes away...but I've got no idea where they go.  Besides, Nanny would get mad at me if they went in the wrong spots, or if someone touched them without gloves or whatever." I never get mad at my much messier family, mind you.  She's not only a) going to refuse responsibility for HER dirty dishes but b) hurt my feelings in the process.  It's not healthy to hate people, but I hate her.  And I love you guys.

she is a spiteful, hateful, controlling woman.
remember that.
so her words are worth what?
she can only hurt you with words if you let her.
never let her see you bleed dearie.. she will twist and use that to her spiteful advantage.

sorry dear
looks like you lose.
you shall just have to live with a smoke filled depreciated house and a monster in law until the last second when the moving van carries your stuff away.. then again, she will probably add her smoke filled suitcase to your van full of your possessions and move with you as she "Has to set her little boy" right in his new home.

dearie, you don't kick her ass out on the street now, she will be in your new home as well.
and smoking it up as well.
sad, but if you back down, she has her way. and wins.
and lives with you forever until she gets a better deal elsewhere.
she is that broke, she ain't gunna hang around, new job or no new job. trust me.. she is as mobil as her little boy.

what part of "TOSS HER ASS OUT NOW" isn't understood?

your home, but it seems you are letting her make the rules.

you have to live with it. and playing nice will not be in her arsenal.

and as someone else around here say.
patience is a virtue of the weak, it makes them stand still long enough to crush them with ease.

i think you have been patient enough.. it's time to go for the kill

Last edited by macnuke (2005-07-09 9:43 pm)

macnuke wrote:

sorry dear
looks like you lose.
you shall just have to live with a smoke filled depreciated house and a monster in law until the last second when the moving van carries your stuff away.. then again, she will probably add her smoke filled suitcase to your van full of your possessions and move with you as she "Has to set her little boy" right in his new home.

dearie, you don't kick her ass out on the street now, she will be in your new home as well.
and smoking it up as well.
sad, but if you back down, she has her way. and wins.
and lives with you forever until she gets a better deal elsewhere.
she is that broke, she ain't gunna hang around, new job or no new job. trust me.. she is as mobil as her little boy.

what part of "TOSS HER ASS OUT NOW" isn't understood?

your home, but it seems you are letting her make the rules.

you have to live with it. and playing nice will not be in her arsenal.

and as someone else around here say.
patience is a virtue of the weak, it makes them stand still long enough to crush them with ease.

i think you have been patient enough.. it's time to go for the kill

NONONONONONONONONNO. Nanny may not kick her out. The only person who can kick her out is Nanny's husband.  If he doesn't kick her out, then he should promise Nanny that his mother may not come live with them in the new house.

Nanny is coping fairly well right now, I think. Crisis over. 

Nanny, since you do have an occasional smoke yourself, if you could see yourself to deciding to ignore just the smoking issue until the new house comes through or she leaves the apartment, whichever comes first, it might be good for you, my Heineken is telling me.  You've expressed yourself about the smoking, she's acknowledge that she understands. As somebody else posted, you CAN get rid of the smells most of the time. Buy Febreeze. (I don't know if it will work: I've been smoke-free for six and a half years.)

Keep telling yourself, Nanny, "This too will pass."

macnuke wrote:

if this is rectified by nanny just having to suck it up just to build her own character, then she loses. and one day, it will haunt her

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!

Someday in the future if nanny follows your advice, Nanny will pay a price for being the one who kicked poor momma out. Somebody - probably another in-law but possibly her own husband or the actual MIL or even Nanny's own mother -- will resent it. Nanny will become a target. Nanny loses, Momma wins sympathy from somebody.

If hubby kicks momma out, Nanny wins, hubby is good strong hubby so he wins, marriage wins. Momma may or may not decide to stop being a loser. If only hubby could afford to send Momma to a motel for a month, all would be solved.

you are too nice.. i wouldn't give her that much time.
and your husband having a breathing problem? and she is obviously not concerned. kick her out now.
her track record speaks for itself. she is a leech sucking on the world.. with a basket full of excuses what she should get all what she wants. send her ass to the welfare dep. and the section8 housing authority. I am sure they will get a smile when she lets em know what type of castle she should have do to her past sufferings.
she is a grown woman.. she can go look on her own. for cars or a domicile.
you want to help ,then lay the apt and auto listings on her bed.
i wouldn't go the month.. I would have her out anywhere in a week or less.

by the way.. to get the smoke smell out of a house..
steam clean the carpet...
wash the walls and ceiling if texture allows.
febreeze works.. you just have to use a hellish amount on the walls and ceiling.
and don't forget the AC vents.
go back and steam the carpets again.
then you "might" have it out.
a coat of paint over the walls and ceiling will make it easier tho.

still say kick her out on her bum.

Last edited by macnuke (2005-07-10 7:54 am)