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1) Partying. It depends on whether you want to graduate or not, but I'd say don't drink on a school night during your first semester, or if your cumulative GPA is less than a 3.0. (3=minimum for many scholarships)

1a) Partying. If the majority of the attendees of a party are over 25, bring wine. 21 or under, bring hard liquor. Tequila is always welcome, even if nobody actually likes it. Remember the lime and salt.

2) Credit Cards. Don't get one untill you're 20.

3) Debt. Avoid it.

4) Ramen. They can in fact be eaten uncooked. They're plain, crunchy. Okay snack food. Migt taste beter with panut butter.

4a) Cooking is easier than your parents made it look. Cheesecake in particular is deceptively simple, as are roast beef, mashed potatoes, and roasted peppers. Salmon and Soy contain high concentrations of Omega-3 fatty acids, which facilitate brain activity.

4b) Multivitamins really do help you stay healthy. Eat them.

5) Cheap beer. It can be hard on you. Extra calories also are a bitch. Drink Vodka. Straight, not mixed drinks. Mixed drinks are for chicks.

5a) Mixed drinks. Never tell a girl that mixed drinks are for chicks, even if she's drinking a gigantic fruit-flavored bright red sugar-infested slurpee with less than half a shot of rum in it, or, horror of horrors, a chocolate cake shot.

6) Drugs. Pot is okay. Some of the most sucessfull students I know are potheads. Tobacco is highly addictive, smelly, and can get pretty expensive. It has no redeeming qualities or mitigating circumstances. It is therefore bad. Gum is better for you. Other drugs will smurf you up good.

6a) Video games. No MMORPGs untill you turn 21.

6b) Video games. No games after 8pm on a school night. If your paper is writen, sleep.

7) Sex. Never turn it down. They won't ask twice.

7a) Sex. Not for practice rooms, bathrooms, or locker rooms.

7b) Sex. Some people think it's okay to have sex with your roommate in the room. I think it's only fair to give them ten bucks to go see Star Wars. After all, you're getting laid and they're not.

7c) Sex. Bored? See craiglist.

8) Standard format for a freshman level paper on a topic is basically 3-paragraph essay. You are an adult now, you are expected to have logical, well thought out opinions and be able to express them. In any opinion piece, always factor in as many cons as pros re: your position. For research papers, that is not necessary, but including information which may or may not fit nicely into your theory never hurt.

8a) Writing papers will get easier, not harder. When you're writing junior-level research papers, simply start with a short paragraph on the topic, 3-4 short, declarative sentences. With one paragraph each, answer "why" for each sentence. Repeat untill you run out of "Why?"s, paper, or coffee.

9) All nighters are teh suckage. They're fun freshman year, normal sophomore year, a pain junior year, and impossible to deal with by the time you're legal to drink. Don't get in the habit.

10) You need two computers. One to use, one to use when the other breaks.

10a) Buy two printers, same reason. Make one a laser printer.

10b) Laptops are okay, they're great for doing research in the library, but most professors will look at you askance if you try to take notes with one. With more and more library resources online, including entire books, a desktop might just do you fine, and they're certainly harder to steal.

11) Buy a bicycle. A cheap one. And several locks. It will get stolen. Don't cry, just walk to Target and buy another $50 bike. Or Walk to the salvation army and buy a $5 bike of questionable mechanical integrity. Your call.

11a) On a similar note, buy black headphones for your iPod.

11b) Bikes actually do have serial numbers. The cops will want to know it. Reporting the theft of your bike is worth your while, since unreported thefts don't get into the crime statistics sheets, and police will concentrate on other things you don't want them to, like marijuana smokers.

11c) Cars will never stop costing you money. Even if you park it one place, you're still paying for parking and insurance. Go without if you can - more money for pizza and booze.

12) Books. They are expensive. Most of the books your professors want you to have are in the library. Literature survey classes in particular. Half.com and older friends in your program are good things to have.

13) You will always run out of money, except for your meal plan. You will have several hundred dollars left on your meal plan by the time you hit finals week of each semester. You will spend it on bagels and batteries in a vain attempt to not lose the money, as there are no refunds. This is invariable, but I have no idea why.

14) A good friend waches over their buddy when they are throwing up.

14a) A better friend helps clean it up.

14b) A best friend doesn't post photos on the internet.

The part about papers made me remember:

Freshman:  5 pages?!?!?  Teh heck?  I'm never getting that done.  There goes my week.
Sophomore: 5 pages ?! The heck.  There goes my weekend.
Junior:  5 pages?  Cake.  I'll have that done this afternoon.
Senior: 5 pages ?!?!?!?!  I need at least 7 to do this topic!

so dvpierce where did you go to college and do you regret the experience at all?

rufio055 wrote:

so dvpierce where did you go to college and do you regret the experience at all?

Eastern Michigan University, the University of Minnesota. I don't regret a bit of it.

Those are mostly observations - who flunked out and why. I was much more tame than, say, Marc.