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#1 2003-02-04 12:12 am

soulcrusher
Banned
From: Princetown, Jamaica
Registered: 2000-10-21
Posts: 3816

A very clever joke

"You can't arrest me officer! I was drinking ethanal!"

I couldn't stop laughing when I heard that one.

Come on! Post any intellectual jokes on this thread.


P.S. I posted it here because supposedly only geniuses visit MiniThink.


"VERY HOT 20-year-olds in GAY ACTION FILMED BY BIG BREASTED CALIFORNIA BABE"

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#2 2003-02-04 12:48 am

Kirk
Spill the Wine, Take That Girl
Royal Wombat
From: Southern California
Registered: 1999-02-27
Posts: 20201
Website

Re: A very clever joke

Well, you can start by spelling ethanol correctly.  Sorry its not funny.

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#3 2003-02-04 1:08 am

bratboy
laden with emotion
Royal Wombat
From: Austin, Texas
Registered: 2003-01-19
Posts: 34106

Re: A very clever joke

Well, you can start by spelling ethanol correctly.  Sorry its not funny.

Well I'm not the only one, then..... :?:


"One thing we've learned is there's a difference between being disappointed and having madmen in authority."

                                                                   --Paul Krugman

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#4 2003-02-04 1:39 am

Sloth77
Member
From: A van down by the river.
Registered: 2001-06-01
Posts: 59

Re: A very clever joke

This isn't really funny but...
    A guy gets pulled over for speeding.  The cops says "May I see your License and Registration please?"
  The guy says "Actually, I had my license revolked for too many DWI's.  And I don't have any registration because the car is stolen."
  "Stolen?"  The cop asked.
  The guy says "Yea, I stole it with the illegal gun that I hid in the glove box."
  The Cop says "You stole this car???"
   The guy says "yea, from the guy I shot and hid in the trunk."
   The cop calls backup and they arrest the guy.  The sergant comes up and says "Can we see your license and registration please."
   The guy says "Sure, it's in the glove box." 
  They check his license and registration, which is all fine.
  The sergant says "This cop says you have no license because of DWIs, no Registration because the car is stolen, a illegal gun in the glove box and a dead man in the tunk.  None of this is true."
  The guy says "Yea, he probably said I was speeding, too."


"They ralley around the family, with a pocket full of shells."  RATM

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#5 2003-02-04 2:58 am

JF
Member
Registered: 2000-07-27
Posts: 1183

Re: A very clever joke

Well, you can start by spelling ethanol correctly.  Sorry its not funny.

Well, he would only have to do that if he were trying to spell "ethanol". Perhaps he was actually trying to spell "ethanal", although with its low boiling point (around room temp if I remember correctly), drinking it would have been interesting...hence the esoteric joke... big_smile

John

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#6 2003-02-04 8:34 am

Best Buy
Member
From: Chico, CA
Registered: 2002-11-05
Posts: 697

Re: A very clever joke

A traveling salesman is driving through the countryside when suddenly his car breaks down. He walks up to a farm house and asks the farmer if he can spend the night since his car broke down. The farmer says," sure, you can stay, but you'll have to share a room with my son". The salesman replies, "Wow ! It looks like I somehow wound up in the wrong joke !"


...where silver suns have golden moons, each year has thirteen Junes, thats' what must be for me. To be in love.

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#7 2003-02-04 9:08 am

AutoJC
Banned
From: Defending Evil, Greedy Capital
Registered: 2002-05-15
Posts: 3555
Website

Re: A very clever joke

This isn't really funny but...
    A guy gets pulled over for speeding.  The cops says "May I see your License and Registration please?"
  The guy says "Actually, I had my license revolked for too many DWI's.  And I don't have any registration because the car is stolen."
  "Stolen?"  The cop asked.
  The guy says "Yea, I stole it with the illegal gun that I hid in the glove box."
  The Cop says "You stole this car???"
   The guy says "yea, from the guy I shot and hid in the trunk."
   The cop calls backup and they arrest the guy.  The sergant comes up and says "Can we see your license and registration please."
   The guy says "Sure, it's in the glove box." 
  They check his license and registration, which is all fine.
  The sergant says "This cop says you have no license because of DWIs, no Registration because the car is stolen, a illegal gun in the glove box and a dead man in the tunk.  None of this is true."
  The guy says "Yea, he probably said I was speeding, too."

Actually, that is funny.  Caught that on an email joke line.


AutoJC

"

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#8 2003-02-04 10:49 am

DixieHumminBird
Member
From: Arizona
Registered: 2003-01-08
Posts: 26

Re: A very clever joke

Two rednecks met in a bar and decided that they weren't going anywhere in life so thought they should go to college to get ahead. They hop in a pickup and drive to the nearest college. While the second one waits out in the hall, the first goes in to one of the rooms and finds a professor who advises him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" asked the first redneck.

The professor replied, "Let me give you an example: Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do," grinned the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouts "AMAZIN!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae... this is incredible!" (The redneck is catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," says the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of. I cain't wait to take this here logic class."

The first redneck, grinning ear to ear with pride at the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend is waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" The friend asked.

"Math, History, and Logic," replies the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is Logic?" asked his new friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?"

"No," his friend replied.

"You're gay, ain't ya?


"That government which governs best governs the least."
--Thomas Jefferson

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#9 2003-02-04 12:26 pm

soulcrusher
Banned
From: Princetown, Jamaica
Registered: 2000-10-21
Posts: 3816

Re: A very clever joke

Well, you can start by spelling ethanol correctly.  Sorry its not funny.

It is not funny because you know smurf about what I am talking about.

I meant ethanal which oxidizes chromium (+3 -> +6) in the same way as ethanol, which as you know is commonly called alcohol. The apparatus cops use to detect the amount of alcohol in your system depends on this oxidation system as colour changes from green (+3) to red (+6) when enough alcohol is in the breath.
So, now the funny part is that if you had drank ethanal the metre will detect it as if you had drank ethanol. You can then, excuse yourself by saying that you were drinking another chemical which will then imply that by definition you were not 'drunk' and so you can't be arrested.
Also, this excuse will certainly be a drunk man's excuse as any sober chemist would realize that you will probably die before the ethanal levels in your system are high enough to be detectable.

The bottom line: The image of a drunk chemist excusing himself with a partial truth in front of an ignorant officer is funny.


"VERY HOT 20-year-olds in GAY ACTION FILMED BY BIG BREASTED CALIFORNIA BABE"

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#10 2003-02-04 12:30 pm

Schlomo
Member
Registered: 2001-04-10
Posts: 233
Website

Re: A very clever joke

**chuckle**

Sure glad I get it now... Only an idiot would think a joke like this wasnt funny


Keep On Smoothin'
Schlomo

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#11 2003-02-04 1:41 pm

ShnickyShnack
::: title edited due to Satanic influences :::
From: Rockin' out
Registered: 2001-05-25
Posts: 22237

Re: A very clever joke

Two rednecks met in a bar ...

big_smile

Good one. Here's a quickie for ya:

Q: What do a Texas tornado and a Kentucky divorce have in common?

A: No matter what, someone's gonna lose a trailer.


Note: please delete this post.

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#12 2003-02-04 1:51 pm

Tallgeese
Sternly Advising
From: Pool Party
Registered: 2000-10-17
Posts: 34086

Re: A very clever joke

Well, you can start by spelling ethanol correctly.  Sorry its not funny.

It is not funny because you know smurf about what I am talking about.

I meant ethanal which oxidizes chromium (+3 -> +6) in the same way as ethanol, which as you know is commonly called alcohol. The apparatus cops use to detect the amount of alcohol in your system depends on this oxidation system as colour changes from green (+3) to red (+6) when enough alcohol is in the breath.
So, now the funny part is that if you had drank ethanal the metre will detect it as if you had drank ethanol. You can then, excuse yourself by saying that you were drinking another chemical which will then imply that by definition you were not 'drunk' and so you can't be arrested.
Also, this excuse will certainly be a drunk man's excuse as any sober chemist would realize that you will probably die before the ethanal levels in your system are high enough to be detectable.

The bottom line: The image of a drunk chemist excusing himself with a partial truth in front of an ignorant officer is funny.

And it's... still not funny.


I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals.

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#13 2003-02-04 6:08 pm

bratboy
laden with emotion
Royal Wombat
From: Austin, Texas
Registered: 2003-01-19
Posts: 34106

Re: A very clever joke


And it's... still not funny.

I think it's actually less funny, now.


"One thing we've learned is there's a difference between being disappointed and having madmen in authority."

                                                                   --Paul Krugman

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#14 2003-02-04 11:47 pm

Kirk
Spill the Wine, Take That Girl
Royal Wombat
From: Southern California
Registered: 1999-02-27
Posts: 20201
Website

Re: A very clever joke

But Kirk doesn't know everything.  That was news to me.   . .  and its still not funny.

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#15 2003-02-04 11:50 pm

jkahless
Member
From: Right in front of you.
Registered: 2002-01-05
Posts: 10017

Re: A very clever joke

lol  (the conversation, not the joke)


http://folding.extremeoverclocking.com/sigs/sigimage.php?u=37350

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#16 2003-02-05 3:31 pm

decker
Screamin' Otter
From: N42°21.441' W88°01.480'
Registered: 1999-07-08
Posts: 3754
Website

Re: A very clever joke

I just pulled out the old dictionary and looked up 'joke'...

1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.

Regarding the original post...

1. Soulcrusher said it, but after reading some replies, it certainly did not evoke laughter or amusement from anyone. 
2. I don't think it was a prank.  (I could be wrong though.)
2. Again, since it did not produce laughter or amusment, this doesn't fit.

So, this thread "A very clever joke," did not originally even contain a joke!  eek  big_smile   lol

But I guess the fact that it didn't makes it sort of a prank doesn't it?   confused
Damn, I thought that was funny and clever for a second.   sad

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#17 2003-02-05 3:54 pm

soulcrusher
Banned
From: Princetown, Jamaica
Registered: 2000-10-21
Posts: 3816

Re: A very clever joke

Einstien couldn't comb his hair, I can't spell.

As Otto Neugebauer pointed out, if you are absent-minded and neglect your hair, does it stand out all over your head? No! It gets tangled and lies down flat. To have hair sticking out like Einstein's takes work!


"VERY HOT 20-year-olds in GAY ACTION FILMED BY BIG BREASTED CALIFORNIA BABE"

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#18 2003-02-09 4:36 am

MjolnirMarkV
Member
From: Mascoutah IL USA
Registered: 2002-05-07
Posts: 695

Re: A very clever joke

An aircraft carrior is heading west on the Atlatinc ocean when it receives a radio transmission. "Calling approaching vessel, you are headed for a collision with us, you need to redirect south 10 degrees for 5 minutes at your current speed to avoid colision." the captain gets on the horn and replies. "We will not change our course, doing so would violate orders, you change your course and go around US.  "I'm affraid I can't do that' said the caller. 'It's highly recommended that you change your course NOW or you'll be sorry!" Frustrated, the captain yells into the horn at the caller "Be advised this is a powerful ship of war!, you don't want to mess with us!!!" To which the caller replies, "This is a Light house, your call *click*"


Your mom's a Ninja.

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#19 2003-02-13 8:43 am

gnomonous
Member
From: East of the plains... and the
Registered: 2001-07-18
Posts: 1244
Website

Re: A very clever joke

President Bush visits a school to explain his politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions.

Bobby stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 3 questions:"

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all times?

Before the president can answer, the recess bell rings, and the kids leave the room. After they came back, Bush invited them again to ask questions.

Joey stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 5 questions:"

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all times?
4. Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?


If the words "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.
-- Terence McKenna

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#20 2003-02-13 8:48 am

hillbilly
Member
From: wiping my ass with a French fl
Registered: 2002-03-19
Posts: 801

Re: A very clever joke

President Bush visits a school to explain his politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions.

Bobby stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 3 questions:"

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all times?

Before the president can answer, the recess bell rings, and the kids leave the room. After they came back, Bush invited them again to ask questions.

Joey stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 5 questions:"

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all times?
4. Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?

http://www.qsl.net/kc2ufo/6.jpg


[Insert image here]

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#21 2003-02-13 9:19 am

gnomonous
Member
From: East of the plains... and the
Registered: 2001-07-18
Posts: 1244
Website

Re: A very clever joke



[img]kc2ufo/6.jpg[/img]

Who is that?  That's the third time someone (you?) has posted it.


If the words "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.
-- Terence McKenna

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#22 2003-02-13 9:54 pm

ShnickyShnack
::: title edited due to Satanic influences :::
From: Rockin' out
Registered: 2001-05-25
Posts: 22237

Re: A very clever joke



Who is that?  That's the third time someone (you?) has posted it.

He's a neo-conservative. He doesn't think. He hates, opposes and insults. Never mind, that joke was funny.


Note: please delete this post.

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#23 2003-02-13 9:57 pm

hillbilly
Member
From: wiping my ass with a French fl
Registered: 2002-03-19
Posts: 801

Re: A very clever joke

A general rule of thumb is that jokes tend to be funny when there's a grain of truth.  that tin-foil-hat-derived "joke" was just a crack-pot conspiracy theory rant.


[Insert image here]

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#24 2003-02-13 10:24 pm

ShnickyShnack
::: title edited due to Satanic influences :::
From: Rockin' out
Registered: 2001-05-25
Posts: 22237

Re: A very clever joke

A general rule of thumb is that jokes tend to be funny when there's a grain of truth.  that tin-foil-hat-derived "joke" was just a crack-pot conspiracy theory rant.

You don't have very nice manners.


Note: please delete this post.

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#25 2003-02-13 10:28 pm

hillbilly
Member
From: wiping my ass with a French fl
Registered: 2002-03-19
Posts: 801

Re: A very clever joke

A general rule of thumb is that jokes tend to be funny when there's a grain of truth.  that tin-foil-hat-derived "joke" was just a crack-pot conspiracy theory rant.

You don't have very nice manners.

I stand by that comment as there's more truth in that than in any of that "joke."

I don't buy into these crack-pot leftist conspiracy theories one bit.  If you consider that ill-mannered, then that's not my problem.


[Insert image here]

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