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mo' ron wrote:

debbiedowner wrote:

I'd say you should keep being a virgin till some time between 18 and 25, and make love only with a person you're in love with.

What happens if you're not in love with anyone by then?

Well, I don't really think you should wait till 40. I guess if you're not in love with anyone by age 25, you need to start figuring out why not -- because you're missing out on the best stuff in life.

JediKnightChewie wrote:

I lost mine when I was 19 and I dont think at the time I was ready for it and it was a very very negative experience for me. I liked the guy but I sure as hell didnt love him and I was so upset by how it ended that I was very depressed for a few months. When I met my husband my life completley turned around and we have an awesome relationship and I think that sex is a wonderful thing if it is with someone that you love, but I would assume that most people who have it with someone they dont particularily like will end up regreting it.

Personally for me waiting was a good idea (although I should have waited longer), but  I dont think that the cultural environment I was raised in with my parents being SOOO hardcore rightwing/conservative was very healthy and that there are much better was of educating your children about sex then "DONT DO IT!".

The age totally depends on the person, but I think its much better to do it with someone that you really care about.

How do you get involved with someone like that, if you don't even particularly like them?

I still am (? ?).

no one wants to have sex with me

My first, and so far only, girlfriend and I got close when we were 18, but we mutually decided not to for our own moral reasons and I am glad we didn't.  A couple months later I dropped something off at her house and there was a letter for me taped to the door, telling me that she wanted to break up.  What a way to stab someone in the heart.... 

I am of the belief that one should wait till they are married, if only because then any children born from it will be born into a married family, not to a single mother or an orphanage.  We had several girls in my high school get pregnant and it ruined their lives, even if they didn't know it.  They missed a lot of school, many of them can't afford to go to the colleges they wanted to, and they have a child to take care of on top of any schoolwork they have.  I don't want to get myself or anyone else into that situation, so I will wait.  That, and I was brought up old fashioned and was raised to be a gentleman.  I don't hold it against anyone who decides to have sex before marriage.  It is a free country and that is one of the freedoms you have.

spike wrote:

lost it in a hotelin rome at age 16. dated the girl i lost it to for over two years. then we broke up and she went crazy. but the sex was good.

compassionate

Tria wrote:

Had these girls not heard of birth control?

Personally, I keep condoms handy. I usually have to throw them away before I can use 'em, these days, but alas, no. There's only one girl I can think of that I've been with that I can positively affirm was on the pill or had a birth control game plan. And she wasn't from around here. I think it's the over-emphasis on abstinence out here that causes someone to have great embarrassment to even consider birth control. The shame factor.

Marriage.

I was 15, she was 14 and I used a condom I had been lovingly saving for just such an event.
it was a majic moment I stll recall fondly, I hope she felt the same way.

I've tried having sex. Never been able to.

I hate the foreplay, I get tired and I quit.

When I was younger I fantasized about it, thought it would be cool. Later on I realized having sex is somewhat like exercise.

I can't concentrate when I move and how am I supposed to enjoy something if I can't concentrate? Am I supposed to not think and just smurf like an animal?

Maybe if I ever love someone I will try. Until then, I'd rather move my wrist than my entire body.

There are lots of greater pleasures in life anyway.

Last edited by soulcrusher (2005-09-18 8:34 pm)

Is it true that if you don't "use it", you "loose it"?

Tria wrote:

That's sad.    It's so easy to be safe.

The trouble is that there is no such thing as "safe sex".  The whole act of sex is to procreate, and it only takes one sperm cell out of the hundred million or so the guy leaves behind to get a girl pregnant.  My friend and his wife wanted to wait with kids till they were financially secure.  Then she forgot to take the pill that one time and ended up having twins because of it.  I have heard of girls getting pregnant because the guy's condom broke.  You can never be totally sure she won't get pregnant unless he has no balls or she has no ovaries.  I highly doubt that anyone would want to go that route in high school just to have sex.  In fact, the one girl in my class that got pregnant was using birth control when she became pregnant.  She wasn't on the pill, but I can't remember what she was using at the time.  He also had a condom, or so she said.  smurf happens. 


As a side note:  One thing that really gets me is when a girl (usually in high school or college) gets pregnant and right away everyone seems to blame the guy.  "Yeah, he got his girl pregnant." or "He knocked her up."  Getting pregnant is a two way street.  Unless he forced himself on her, she had just as much responsibility in the act as he did.  I don't know if this happens in other areas, but around here, it always seems to be the guy's fault.  Even the courts in my area seem to always side with the women.  If a woman doesn't want to get pregnant, then she should take steps to prevent it.  Its her body, she needs to take care of it as she sees fit, and not rely on others to do it for her. 

Orion wrote:

Tria wrote:

That's sad.    It's so easy to be safe.

The trouble is that there is no such thing as "safe sex".  The whole act of sex is to procreate, and it only takes one sperm cell out of the hundred million or so the guy leaves behind to get a girl pregnant.  My friend and his wife wanted to wait with kids till they were financially secure.  Then she forgot to take the pill that one time and ended up having twins because of it.  I have heard of girls getting pregnant because the guy's condom broke.  You can never be totally sure she won't get pregnant unless he has no balls or she has no ovaries.  I highly doubt that anyone would want to go that route in high school just to have sex.  In fact, the one girl in my class that got pregnant was using birth control when she became pregnant.  She wasn't on the pill, but I can't remember what she was using at the time.  He also had a condom, or so she said.  smurf happens. 

Yes, which is why you should be responsible and take your pill, or make sure to use a more reliable form of birth control than a condom.  If you can't handle the responsibility of the pill, perhaps an IUD or patch or ring, something that doesn't have to be taken daily.  Forgetting a pill is just irresponsible.  Which isn't to say I haven't been there, but you can't say "sex isn't safe" if somebody screwed up their birth control.

As a side note:  One thing that really gets me is when a girl (usually in high school or college) gets pregnant and right away everyone seems to blame the guy.  "Yeah, he got his girl pregnant." or "He knocked her up."  Getting pregnant is a two way street.  Unless he forced himself on her, she had just as much responsibility in the act as he did.  I don't know if this happens in other areas, but around here, it always seems to be the guy's fault.  Even the courts in my area seem to always side with the women.  If a woman doesn't want to get pregnant, then she should take steps to prevent it.  Its her body, she needs to take care of it as she sees fit, and not rely on others to do it for her. 

bullsmurf.  The girl has to walk around with a swollen tummy for 5 months.  Do you know what kind of social stigma that is, that the guy doesn't have to deal with?  Yes, the girl should take steps to prevent pregnancy, and using both a pill and a condom is a good idea.  But you can't say that the stigma on a guy is worse than that on a girl.