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Orion wrote:

I was reading Malkin's topic about her wedding (Congrats by the way!) and it got me thinking.  She is doing it kinda the way I would.  Simple, private and personal.  I am wondering why weddings are so huge and why so many people spend so damn much money on them.  Granted, its a once in a lifetime event (hopefully )  so you may want to live it up a little, but come on.  Why spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a dress that will probably only be worn once?  Why invite everyone in your family, even if you really don't know who they are?  Why are the women's dresses at least ten times more expensive than the guy's tux rentals?  Why don't the women rent their dresses?  Why do people cry when it doesn't go exactly to plan?  Why am I asking so many questions?   


Does anyone know or at least have an idea, thought, or theory?

i'll go numerically.

1) the importance of big weddings differ from person to person. to my fiance and me, it took some time to come around that we both wanted a fairly major to-do. well, i say we, when it was actually her. i was always the one wanted to the fairly major to-do.

2) often times, bridal gowns/dresses/whatever can be passed down, generation to generation. if the bride makes the concious decision to get a dress that could be considered "timeless," it can be assured that the dress will be passed down 2, maybe 3 generations.

3) why invite everyone? in my case (or in my mind), although i may not really, truly know everyone that my mother added to the guest list, they are family, and therefore have had some form of impact in my life and my rearing. plus, again, ours will be a fairly major to-do. and i want prezzies.   (jk)

4) women's dresses? see above for a somewhat decent answer (i believe). tux rentals are so much cheaper because ya ain't payin' to own 'em.

5) why do peole cry when it doesn't always go according to plan? dunno. i suppose it depends on how much time, effort, and money one pours into the whole shabang. personally, i feel confident that should anything go wrong with the ceremony or reception that we'll just look at each other, shrug our shoulders, and make sure someone gets a good picture of it.

Oh, and tux rental is not 10 times less than a dress costs. Unless the bride is a bitch who doesn't care about what her bridesmaids have to do, she won't choose $1200 dresses for them.

Tallgeese wrote:

Oh, and tux rental is not 10 times less than a dress costs. Unless the bride is a bitch who doesn't care about what her bridesmaids have to do, she won't choose $1200 dresses for them.

Yeah, my tux rental for my sister's wedding last summer was only maybe 30 bucks less than what the bridesmaids paid to buy their dresses outright.

Possible Reasons in no particular order:
1. Bragging rights
2. Social/financial standing "demands" it
3. Pay back for having been invited to other weddings
4. Fairy-tale-dream-come-true syndrome
5. Center-of-attention syndrome
6. It's just something they want to do

Going into debt for a blow-out wedding is not a good idea. But, if the engaged couple want a big wedding and can afford it... good for them.

As a friend of mine once said, "For most people, it's the last big ceremony in your honor until your funeral."

I kind of admire what some friends of mine did last month. They got married in Costa Rica.

The cool thing about a wedding in a place like that is...
a) you can invite everyone you know, but you're guaranteed to have small wedding since only close friends and family will show up.
b) if you get married on the beach everyone can dress semi casual. It's too damn hot, sticky, and sandy to wear anything else.
c) the plane flight is a few hundred bucks, but once you're there everything is relatively cheep compared to the states.

Tallgeese wrote:

Oh, and tux rental is not 10 times less than a dress costs. Unless the bride is a bitch who doesn't care about what her bridesmaids have to do, she won't choose $1200 dresses for them.

Umm....for my friend's wedding, the tux rentals were about $45 each.  The bridesmaid's dresses were around $400 each.  I would say that is about 10 times more.  Tux rentals must be uber cheap around here. 

As for passing the wedding dress on, my grandma saved hers, but by the time my mom could have used it, it was already getting funny and starting to discolor.  My mom's was doing the same by the time my oldest sister got married.  Both were very nice dresses, not cheap crap, and both were stored properly.

As for a wedding, my folks just had a nice ceremony and then had a dinner later in the evening.  There was no dance, which saved a ton of money and no one seemed to mind it.  I'm like my dad.  I can't dance to save my soul.  My prom date was pissed back in HS because I didn't want to stand around and dance for four hours.  I actually wanted to carry on a conversation, but she just wanted to dance.  Go figure....

the last wedding I was in, the tux rental cost me about $150.

But as far as cost versus cost of a bridesmaid's dress, you ever a price a tux to own?

Last edited by Robert B. (2006-03-10 12:42 am)

I personally admire what my parents did. They eloped and just went to a courthouse and married. My dad telegrammed (evidence of how old they are) my grandmother to tell them the news.

To answer the original question - TV and popular culture.  It is hugely insane - let's burden a couple starting out together with a huge ass debt, now that is a good idea.

Take the bloody $25k and put it towards a house for heaven's sake - mutual fund something.

For the record - you can hold a big party for your family and friends any time you feel like it - and it doesn't need to cost as much as a pretty nice car.

Same thing (IMHO) about engagement rings - stupid commercialism.

I've been married for 15 years this spring.  We spent as little as we possibly could on the wedding - something we're still pleased with to this day.

We did spend a modest amount on decent pictures - which I would recommend.  There are people who were at the wedding who are now deceased and it is nice to have pics of them at the event.

Resedit - you're the to-be virgin groom, right?  It'll be the best 30 seconds of your life man- then you can head to the reception.

Robert B. wrote:

the last wedding I was in, the tux rental cost me about $150.

But as far as cost versus cost of a bridesmaid's dress, you ever a price a tux to own?

Never worn one.

Yeah, I just rented a tux for $127....I don't know where to get it much cheaper. Last time I paid $100, I just wanted something nicer this time. Hmm, where did you find a rental for $45?