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Heh,
Try being a guy married to an abusive woman.
Not only is there no support system in place you cant tell anyone because either people dont believe a woman can be abusive or they just think an abused man is funny.

I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't just physically leave.  You must have had some friend or relative that would've let you stay with them.  If someone was doing something as insane as sleep deprivation, I would've slept on the couch of anyone who would've taken me.  And I would definitely let any of my friends who were in your situation crash on my couch for a few weeks.

Please, I'm not trying to be condescending, I'm just asking.  Either way, I'm glad you're getting out now.

Pariah wrote:

Heh,
Try being a guy married to an abusive woman.
Not only is there no support system in place you cant tell anyone because either people dont believe a woman can be abusive or they just think an abused man is funny.

Indeed, my cousin's husband has horrible problems with his ex. She abused all three of their kids, possibly him too (I don't know) and one of the kids was a juvenile diabetic, and she would do stuff like give her normal coke to drink. The child services in NJ is horribly weighted towards the mother, even one as negligent  as this one. She doesn't spend the child support on the one remaining child who is going off to college this year. All three of the kids now want nothing to do with the mom, the middle daughter is pregnant and just had a baby shower, the mom was invited to show up, and she refused to because my cousin would be there.

The most interesting thing is, the way this woman acts, you would think that my cousin broke up their marriage. Except, they've been divorced since the youngest was born, and my cousin and her husband got married 8 or so years ago. I'm glad I never met her. They're currently trying to get the youngest daughter emancipated so that they won't end up paying child support to this woman, when the daughter is never coming back, and the mother isn't going to pay any part of her college education.

soulcrusher wrote:

justine wrote:

You can't make someone understand that hasn't been there.

lies.

This is what art is for and why it is so important for society.

While important,

Experiencing something is different from living in it.

Moreta wrote:

Why don't women leave abusive husbands?

Staying in an abusive relationship is typically an issue of psychology, not feasibility.

Zetetic Apparatchik wrote:

This marital property sounds properly messed up. Is this the setup across the entire US?

nope
TX and LA aren't.

I have long wondered why people don't leave abusive relationships, and why they get into them.  Many times, you can tell that the relationship is going to be abusive when someone says things like "Well, he (or she) is nice when he isn't drinking." and the like.  If you are dating someone and they are abusive, they will always be abusive.  I am glad you are getting out, and I hope things work out for you.  Here in Wisconsin, we do have that marital property law, so everything you own also belongs to your spouse, except inheritance, but only if it is kept separate from the joint accounts.  I don't have first hand experience with this, but I have seen people in abusive relationships and it pains me to see that.  My sister works for an attorney who is partnered with a divorce attorney, and she sees that all the time.

Moreta wrote:

And how come everytime I go to type 'marital' my fingers type 'martial' instead?

In spite of the fact that 90% of everything I post on these forums is snark, I really do wish you the best of luck. I mean that.

Have you considered that maybe this is an opportunity for you to lobby for change in the law? Write letters to your state representatives and the local newspaper. Call your local TV station's investigative reporter and see if you can get them on the story. A lot of serious change starts with one pissed off, intelligent person, and you count for both. It may not help you, but you can help others.

I wouldn't worry about typing "martial" instead of "marital" given that you're one of about 10 people in the country who can correctly spell "separate."

I'm on your side, for what it's worth.

macnuke wrote:

Zetetic Apparatchik wrote:

This marital property sounds properly messed up. Is this the setup across the entire US?

nope
TX and LA aren't.

TX has their own set of issues with regards to parents/kids.  Like how the court system doesn't understand why a mother doesn't want to send her child to see a father where a loaded shut gun was found COCKED.

This was reported by the guy's current wife (who was trying to divorce him at the time).

MacBoy4139 wrote:

macnuke wrote:

Zetetic Apparatchik wrote:

This marital property sounds properly messed up. Is this the setup across the entire US?

nope
TX and LA aren't.

TX has their own set of issues with regards to parents/kids.  Like how the court system doesn't understand why a mother doesn't want to send her child to see a father where a loaded shut gun was found COCKED.

This was reported by the guy's current wife (who was trying to divorce him at the time).

I would definitely have a problem with any firearm that wasn't locked in a gunsafe with or without kids around.
In any home.
btw.. my divorce was in Houston courts.... so i know a bit about procedure there.

Last edited by macnuke (2006-07-26 6:36 pm)

Gracias, notJames et al.

Once I finally get through this  (and am undoubtedly paying HIM alimony believe it or not, since he has refused to work for the last six years and gets to claim to be a 'stay at home dad' in court), I fully intend to expose the lengths to which a spouse can go without being in the slightest danger of facing consequences. 

Alas, unless it becomes more sensational than it is, I doubt it will get much attention.  But I'm surely going to try.  No one should have to deal with this kind of harassment. 

Thanks for the support, folks.

Sigh.   Wrong login.   

This was me, Moreta. 

Last edited by Tribblet (2006-07-27 2:04 pm)