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ReallyReallyLong LongName wrote:

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first!

You've never had actual sex with another person, have you?

I simply caress my right butt cheek with a beer bottle, wink and say "Ladies."
Then, as I walk away, I make a gun with my index finger and fire imaginary love bullets while making tiger noises.

If that fails I brag about my Camero.

"Baby, your (insert attractive body part here) is like a trainwreck, I just can't stop staring."

Use often for popularity with "the ladies."

Hawhawhaw.

Best pickup line I ever got was from an old guy at the Country Club last year...he swam up to me and said, "You look like you play tennis, I'm looking for a partner.".  Found out later he's 84 years old!!!!!!

Connemara wrote:

Best pickup line I ever got was from an old guy at the Country Club last year...he swam up to me and said, "You look like you play tennis, I'm looking for a partner.".  Found out later he's 84 years old!!!!!!

Eew.

Mark Vanderhof wrote:

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.

If I could change the alphabet I would put U and I together.

I have to report you to the police. You have stolen my heart.

Your shirt looks beautiful on you, but do you know what would look even better? Me.

That's a great outfit! It would look amazing crumpled up on my bedroom floor.

Nice legs, when do they open?

resedit wrote:

Best pick up line -

I'm a sales executive for Google.

This is by far the only one that has even a remote chance of working.

justine wrote:

resedit wrote:

Best pick up line -

I'm a sales executive for Google.

This is by far the only one that has even a remote chance of working.

I concur. I'd pounce to buy him a drink. 

The funniest one I ever heard was when a guy came up to me late one night at a Waffle House and the Shania Twain song  "Any Man of Mine" was on. He gave me his card and said "If you want a guy to treat you like that, give me a call. Ask the cook about me if you don't trust me. Oh, wait. The cook tonight's my ex's brother. Call here and ask the day cook about me." 
I didn't call the cook nor him.

I'm glad I brought my library card, cause I am definitely checking you out!

When I look at you, three words pop into my head: naked, naked, naked.

ReallyReallyLong LongName wrote:

Your name must be MacBook Pro cause damn your so hott!

Your name must be MacBook cause you look like you will get dirty when I get my hands on you.

Your name must be MacBook because I'd pay extra for a black version of you!