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yeah, unfortunaly i had a tight schedule and no budget (i'm in high school). I couldn't find a good detective costume, but I happened to have the hat. And they only got the scripts the day of shooting (the detective is usually a terrific actor, I've been in several plays with him).
As for the credits, I didn't know they had a certain order... thanks for pointing that out. I'll fix that for the next version, as well as putting them closer together (and fixing the capilalization in the title).

i'll make sure I pay better attention to the costumes and acting next time. thanks for your comments!

Last edited by maxintosh (2007-01-01 12:36 am)

I like it.  Nice story to tell in a short film.  I really like the opening credit sequence, very good job on the art design for this.  Though I will agree with shaman in that it is a bit too long.  I'd shorten it down to about 30 seconds if you can. As a film major, I know of know rule stating the order of billing in a credit sequence.  After George Lucas gave the finger to the Director's Guild in 1977, it has pretty much been up to the filmmaker as to how his/her credits appear and the order of billing.
I like the lighting,  I'm guessing you were going for a film noir look.  You seem to have a natural talent with lighting which is what really makes this film stand out for someone your age.  It looks like you were using some pretty basic lighting too, which is as also as impressive.  You should really look into learning a bit more about light because, in most of your shots, I only saw 1 or 2 things that are relatively easy fixes, even on a high school budget. Sometimes though, your image gets a bit too contrasty, even for the noir look. As is, your lighting is as good as some I've seen from some of the first year MFA students up here at SF State.
A couple things for your editing: 
You have noticeable sound pops and bumps on your edits. This does not come from shooting with a crappy mic, and is easily fixable by  adding a short (no more than 10 frame) cross fade between your audio clips, just make sure it doesn't cut off any dialogue or introduce any other problems.  Sometimes it helps to just to make a culprit sound clip a frame or two longer or shorter. Other than that the sound is really good considering it just came off a camera mic.
Lastly, the shot reverse-shot sequence with the two men talking in the living room could use a little shot variation, or a cutaway or two.  Perhaps a close up a hand stirring their coffee?
I have to say, I'm impressed, it does blow away my first short, and isn't a very far cry from some of the stuff I put out now when I'm in a hurry.  Keep up the good work.  You'll be surprised how much you'll learn just by doing projects like this.

Last edited by sevoneone (2007-01-02 2:52 am)