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Not to say that they can't work, but as most professionals will tell you, they usually don't. It's not good to tie yourself up emotionally to a person that's so far away, even if you get to see them on the weekends, or things like that.

You might try to stick with it and learn the lesson, but if I were you, I'd get out of it.

This is often a topic on the California based radio show 'Loveline'. Dr. Drew Pinsky, a board certified physician often explains this to callers. Also, it's kind of common knowledge that those things don't work.

Well, best of luck to you. I'm sure you'll figure things out.

I'm in one.  It's been a year.  It's kinda rocky right now.

Last edited by Aqua Man (2007-01-16 5:58 pm)

Hate to continue with the pessimism.  Seems like every one of my previous relationships had been long distance at some point or another.
Try Minnesota to Japan...now THAT was hard.

2.5 years is nothing to sneeze at though.  I'd keep going if it feels right...my 2 cents.

Could have had one but decided to end on a nice note last session. I know of a lot of people who do. I can think of at least 4 Australians with American girlfriends. One of my close mates has a Canadian. They work as hard as they can and take turns visiting. One bloke's American flies over every 6 months, stays for a week and goes back. He's ya typical Aussie country bumpkin and she's loaded. Her whole family flew out here for his 21st and it was apparently quite the bash. She's a Mac user as well.

I'm about to head back for my second semester of my freshman year of college. My girlfriend and I had been together for almost a year when I left and we decided to stay together.  It was great at first because whenever I had nothing to do or felt lonely, I always had her to call.  The problems began when we each began to start hanging out with our own friends and partying and drinking and all that. All the partying and whatnot lead to a lot of jealousy on both of our parts. All the jealousy led to a lot of fighting. All of the fighting over the phone led to me owing over $500 in phone bills.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, I found out that she had been flirting with/leading other guys on, and I was really upset. I couldn't decide whether to break up with her or not, so she just decided that the relationship was too stressful so she broke up with me.

I'm still pretty upset, as we were dating for just over a year, and were very attached. Despite being upset, I also realize that it was definitely for the best.  Now I don't have to spend so much time on the phone, and I don't have to feel like I'm walking on eggshells in terms of partying and trying my hardest to keep her from being jealous.

My situation was a bit different because we hadn't been dating for quite as long, but I would seriously consider whether you are willing to devote the time and effort necessary to make it work. If you can, then kudos to you.

EDIT: I was in connecticut, and she was still in high school right outside DC.

Last edited by Alleycat (2007-01-20 7:27 pm)

Alleycat wrote:

I'm about to head back for my second semester of my freshman year of college. My girlfriend and I had been together for almost a year when I left and we decided to stay together.  It was great at first because whenever I had nothing to do or felt lonely, I always had her to call.  The problems began when we each began to start hanging out with our own friends and partying and drinking and all that. All the partying and whatnot lead to a lot of jealousy on both of our parts. All the jealousy led to a lot of fighting. All of the fighting over the phone led to me owing over $500 in phone bills.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, I found out that she had been flirting with/leading other guys on, and I was really upset. I couldn't decide whether to break up with her or not, so she just decided that the relationship was too stressful so she broke up with me.

I'm still pretty upset, as we were dating for just over a year, and were very attached. Despite being upset, I also realize that it was definitely for the best.  Now I don't have to spend so much time on the phone, and I don't have to feel like I'm walking on eggshells in terms of partying and trying my hardest to keep her from being jealous.

My situation was a bit different because we hadn't been dating for quite as long, but I would seriously consider whether you are willing to devote the time and effort necessary to make it work. If you can, then kudos to you.

EDIT: I was in connecticut, and she was still in high school right outside DC.

Damn, that sucks.

Well, I don't party much at all. I mostly hang out with my room mates and watch movies/play video games or whatever. There is some friction when she parties, but we deal with it. She realizes it's more important to treat me well than to get wasted, so she's careful to balance what she does.

(This isn't being restrictive. If someone is an smurf when drunk, then they shouldn't get drunk. Makes sense, right? And I'm not the only one who's noticed this.)

So yeah, I've heard and know that long distance relationships suck. When we're apart it is hard and all, but we have such a great time when we're together (and over the summer we live in the same town). We've come close to saying we'll take breaks or something, but in the end we decide it hurts more to be totally apart.

Oh, and I made sure to avoid cell phone bills by being on the same network. Unlimited calling, baby! And rollover minutes to spare!

Alleycat wrote:

Haha I'm on verizon and my ex was on cingular.

A $500 phone bill is like going bankrupt for a broke college student.

Indeed.

It can work.  My sister did it with her boyfriend for half a year while he was in Greece, but you are definitely going to have to work at it. 

Like other people have said, be prepared for extensive phone time and understand that you're both going to have make sacrifices; either in social life/time costs spent on periodically traveling to see one another or emotional distress from forgoing the whole semi-frequent visits.

Give it a shot though, at worst it's a learning experience.

I've seen long distance relationships work when people were out of school and had money to fly every weekend. I've seen them work in college when "long distance" was less then a 2 hour drive.

That said, I've never seen one work where people where apart for an extended period of time and were not able to meet several times a month. People grow apart and or meet other people. Moreover, the younger you are, the more likely this is to happen.

I wasted my first 2 years of college on girls from back home. It didn't feel like a waste at the time, but maaaaaan, once that crap was over the last 2 years kicked ass. No regular phone calls required, no need to drive 2 hours every time I got the chance, no feeling guilty about having the hots for my lab partner. Dunno man. I certainly wouldn't tell you to dump her...I'm just sayin's'all.

Last edited by pottymouth (2007-03-05 3:43 pm)