After Apple introduced the Special Edition U2 iPod, it seemed like everyone wanted to jump on the special edition band wagon. There have been iPods for Madonna, Harry Potter, Tony Hawk and Beck. And those are just the Apple ones.

Since anyone with a laser etcher can create their own special edition iPod, movie studios and PR firms have been getting in on the action lately. The recent X-Flies movie iPod is a good example of this trend. We expect a Star Trek iPod with the United Federation of Planets logo landing this summer before the new movie's release. 

Never to be outdone by those folks in Hollywood, we decided to create our own special edition iPods. While we would love to have any one of these limited-edition, individually-numbered iPods in our pocket, the chances of them seeing the light of day is pretty slim. Still, we can dream can't we.

The Golden Girls

Relive the geriatric high jinks of four older women as they navigate the world of early bird dinners, Social Security, and the unbelievable tales of St. Olaf, Minnesota as told by Rose. This iPod is the perfect gift for anyone in an assisted living community. 

Special Feature: Blanche convinces Rose to go on a double date with the Grumpy Old Men with hilarious results.

60 Minutes

For 40 years, 60 Minutes has been a mainstay of Sunday-night television for viewers who need an hour-long dose of topical news stories. The usual click wheel is replaced with the famous stop watch that audibly ticks away the seconds until you go insane. Viewers that lose their minds because of the 60 Minutes iPod will get their own segment during sweeps.  

Special Feature: Andy Rooney wonders what the deal is with all these products that start with i.

She's the Sheriff

Post-Three's Company, and pre-Thigh Master, Suzanne Sommers played Hildy Granger. A small town woman who scores the sweet job as the sheriff of a small town. She's a girl, and she's a cop, it's supposed to be funny. While in "Blonde" mode the iPod routinely forgets songs and tries to get you to diet. 

Special Feature: Watch the lost episode when a triple homicide investigation takes a back seat as Hildy learns how to drive a manual transmission.

My Two Dads


In the days before Maury Povich and Montel Williams, the mystery of paternity was quaint, and sometimes fodder for mediocre television. The perfect gift for anyone who's wondered who their real dad is.

Special Feature: Watch the series finale when Nicole learns that her real dad is that guy, Bull from Night Court, and ends up having a mental breakdown.

Matlock


The greatest lawyer ever! His ability to pull a confession from a witness while on the stand, therefore exonerating his client, is legendary. It may have had something to do with all those white suits. No one knows for sure. iPod arrives with coupon to Early Bird special at local diner. 

Special Feature: Hold your iPod near anyone you suspect of deviousness and they'll tell you everything you want to know. And few things you didn't want to know.

Glengarry Glen Ross

The dialogue heavy David Mamet play makes its F&*%ing debut on the iPod. The perfect gift to get real estate agents motivated in this soft housing market.

Special Feature: Sucks the leads of other real estate agents directly from their mobile devices. Introduces owners to three swears they've never heard of.

TMZ


The celebrity show, famous for making sure the world knows that Michael Richards and Mel Gibson shouldn't be invited to Multi-Cultural day at your local school, sneaks on to the iPod. If you've ever wanted to follow celebrities and talk about them in a morning meeting, this is the iPod for you. 

Special Feature: The iPod is actually a tiny camera in disguise. Film your favorite celebrity as they make a fool of themselves after drinking all night. Has Lindsay Lohan's and Paris Hilton's phone numbers in the contacts. 

Manimal

The greatest television show ever! A rich guy can turn into any animal, and fights crime! Sadly, this short lived show only lasted eight episodes. Since only 12 people actually remember this show, chances of this iPod catching on is pretty slim. But if it does, an Automan iPod can't be far behind. 

Special Feature: The Manimal iPod can turn into any iPod that has ever been released. Makes growling noises. Rawr.

All artwork by Dennis Van Huffel.