To the person who smashed the rear passenger-side window of my faithful Impreza, Joey JoJo Junior Subaru, and grabbed my backpack from the backseat: You suck. Yeah, you got my 15-inch MacBook Pro, which I hadn't yet named but only because it was too new, not because my affections for it were any less than for my dear Joey JoJo. You got the headphones I'm reviewing for our May issue. You got the rest of the random detritus floating around inside a worn-out pack I've been carrying nearly every day for years. (Enjoy the sunscreen, ponytail holders, and Planters Heat Peanuts!) But you'll never claim my unbreakable spirit.

To the rest of you law-abiding citizens reading this right now: Heed the following lessons, and when These Things Happen to you, it won't wreck your day, either.

1. Get insurance. I have comprehensive on the car, as well as renter's insurance for the apartment. So this will be fully covered. In fact, since I chose "full replacement value" (as opposed to "actual cash value," click the link above for more) on the renter's policy, I shouldn't be out any cash besides the deductible. Don't have renter's? GET IT. Today. It's extremely affordable. Yes, your landlord has his own insurance on the building, but that policy only covers the actual building, not your stuff. And your car insurance may not cover personal items stolen from the car—mine doesn't. If I didn't have renter's, I'd be high and dry, with no option for replacing my MacBook Pro except to suck it up and pay for a new one. Twenty-five hundred bones (or clams, or whatever you call them) can buy a lot of burritos. You can never have too many burritos, or too much insurance. Trust me.

2. File away receipts and photos of your valuables. This seems like common sense, but you'd be surprised. If you paid enough for something that you could see yourself filing an insurance claim if it was ever cruelly taken from you, save the receipt. Take a picture. If you live in an area where you're more concerned about natural disasters (floods, earthquakes, etc.), you might want to keep copies of all of this in two places. But in any case, being organized will speed up the reimbursement process later, and help you get the full amount you're entitled to for your stuff. I've got the original receipt for the MacBook Pro in front of me right now, serial number and all. Which bring us to...

3. Write down the serial numbers! Yep, it's helpfully stored in Mac OS X's System Profiler. Doesn't help much when the computer is stolen, does it? If you have the serial number when you file the police report, the officers can notify local pawn shops and there's a chance (a slim one, but still) that your stuff can be recovered.

4. Don't tempt fate in the first place. When I came into the office this morning and shared the news with my coworkers, of course they were highly sympathetic and kind. BUT they couldn't help pointing out (bless them) that had I taken more care, the incident might not have happened in the first place. True, it does no good to sit here and "what if" all day. But honestly? I know better than to leave a backpack sitting in the back seat of my car, even if it was only parked on the street for an hour, in the daylight no less. Be smart. Take an extra second to consider your surroundings and don't dismiss rational fears as "I'm just being paranoid."

5. Back it up. Computers can always be replaced. The data they contain? Not so much. Unless you back up, of course. Most of the stuff on my hard drive had been backed up to my iDisk automatically, so I only lost about a day's worth of work. (And if you knew how little work I actually do in a day—HA HA, JUST KIDDING, LESLIE!) Could you survive a complete loss of everything on your hard drive? Back that puppy up!

6. Keep it in perspective. The first time I had a laptop stolen, when my college apartment was robbed, I was borderline devastated. I felt violated, angry, terrified, a virtual rainbow of crappy emotions. After the insurance wound up getting me a better laptop anyway, I felt dumb for getting so worked up. (Who gets that attached to an entry-level Compaq Presario anyhow?! That thing was a hunk of JUNK!) Yeah, it's a hassle to have to file an insurance claim, wait for a settlement, replace the computer, blah blah blah. But no one was hurt. The car wasn't stolen. The stereo was untouched, as was the iPod attached to it by a cable but mostly hidden from view, tucked under the driver's seat. It could have been worse. And while we Mac-lovin' types can get pretty attached to our gorgeous machines, in the end, it's still just a machine. Plus, what well-insured, well-backed-up, well-organized Mac user wouldn't relish the chance to upgrade to the newest and fastest version of his Mac Of Choice? Maybe it's better that I didn't name the laptop after all. So long, buddy, and thanks for all the clicks.

I'll keep you posted on how long it takes for me to get a new 'puter. Meanwhile, if you're in the Lower Haight and someone offers to sell you a MacBook Pro out of the back of his van or something, kick him in the jewels for your old pal Susie.