OK, so like all of you I'm sure, I read the MacLife.com News Roundup pretty much every day. But I didn't finish it today. Why is that, the curious among you may be wondering. Well, I'll tell you. The first item was so forehead-smackingly hilarious that I nearly knocked myself out.

Because I'm an astute reader of the comments on other articles, I know that some of you object to extemporaneous clicking. So here, just 'cause I care, is the paragraph of which I'm speaking:

Keep the music on: The popularity of iPods (and other MP3 players) is projected to more than double between 2005 and 2011 - news that will no doubt bring cheer and smugness to the halls of Apple's Cupertino HQ. Market research firm iSuppli estimates that worldwide unit sales will reach 268.6 million in 2011, compared to 128.7 million units sold in 2005. (Apple has a 26 percent share of the market, having sold 46.4 million iPods in 2006.)

Can you guess what the problem is there? Look at the name of the research firm. It's friggin' iSuppli. If you're keeping score at home, that's not one, but TWO, totally unncessary, and very, very likely influenced by the popularity of the iPod and the proliferation of iEverywords, lowercase letter i's.

Dude. This is so uncalled for. It's a market research firm, not a cute wittle iPod speaker that looks like some sort of extraterrestrial bug (iWoofer), not an iTunes plug-in (iWow), not any of that. It's an actual company that has nothing to do with the development, manufacture, or direct sale of audio accessories, computers, or integrated lifestyle apps, although I do grant that they cover the electronics industry. (Pssht. To me, that's not a tight enough link, but maybe I'm just a stickler like that.) Why? Why the i?

Yes, I realize the iPod wasn't the first iProduct, or even the first one from Apple. But were we mired in so much (non-Apple) iJunk before the iPod really took off and shined the bright spotlight of mainstream pop culture on Cupertino and its many iWonders? iThinkNot. Bonus question: Which is worse, all the iNames, or the names that spell out the i as eye (EyeTV) just to be different, or, you know, maybe to get a name that pronounces Appley (Applei?) even if it's not spelled like it? Not that I'm accusing the EyeTV of anything like that. I mean, at least it's not iTVHybridiii.

iThunder, iLuv, iMage, iPlayaz, inMotion iM7, these make sense to me. Sure the i is getting clichéd by now, at least a little—as are the cute Apple-esque capitalization schemes, atLeast aLot. I submit that today it's gone too far. iMean, Is this going to be a trend with whatever gadget takes over the iMaginations of the world next? If the Nintendo Wii blows up as much as iKnow it's going to, will wii bii spelliing likee thiis?

So in honor of the good folks at iSuppli (omg, iAlmost couldn't bring myself to type that second i, you guys, seriously), here are a few suggestions for other completely nonsensical, yet oh so iAwesome, potential comapny eyeNames. iNjoy.

iDoc, for all your opthamology needs

iPoop, your septic tank specialists

iCaramba, come taste the best Mexican food in the city

eyeHop, you know...that other pancake place

iRon, shirts washed, starched and pressed

iSpy iPi, private investigator (with the extra i's, you know he's good!)

(As someone shamelessly aping the California Milk Processor Board might say... got more? Hit up the comments!)